Posted by Chili

I’m just letting you guys know. I’m as confused as you are — here’s a coach making 6 or 7 figures, and he putts around all day in this thing. But, then again, how could you not be persuaded by the multitalented Richard Dreyfuss in this commercial.

Posted by Willy Mac

I’m going to get straight to the point and come right out and say it. CLEMSON IS SLOWLY TURNING INTO A GIMMICK. JUST A BUNCH OF FADS AND MEMES ROLLED INTO ONE… with a dash of yankee (No offense to our hoagie and pop bloggers). All of this Disney-esque pregame shit has to stop, pronto. I mean it. Who is in charge of putting this stuff on the loudspeakers?!?! We have enough tradition and we have enough gimmicks by ourselves, we don’t fucking need a eurotrance techno beat to get excited to. Penn State and Georgia Tech already do this, why do we need to join the party? And for all you thirty something Tigernetters, no, we don’t need to come out to Hells Bells or Metallica, or any gay shit like that either. Why? Because Georgia Tech and most high schools have cornered the market on that. I even remember last year that we tried to copy Wisconsin and their end of the third quarter “Jump Around” thing. While I’m on it, what sickens me most, is the rip off of the Irish crowd push up thing. I’m frustrated because Clemson fans and the Athletic Department think that they have eaten up a lot of college football fads and are shitting out pure gold. This, is in fact, a vast understatement. I noticed that this trend, oddly enough, has been following the trend up increased tuition and increased acceptance of out-of-state, predominantly northern kids. This is not Clemson. I mean, yes, ok, a few northern kids a year never hurt any body, but you’d think that there was a second civil war and we lost again with the amount of carpet baggers coming down here. I got a great idea, and please, stop me if I get too out of line for saying this… but how bout we stick to the traditions of Tiger Rag, the Hill, the Rock, Esso, the fans, atmosphere, etc etc that has made Clemson a great place for years. Stop messing with your new loudspeakers and just let the band earn their keep.

Also, this new kick off video has to go. It is painful just to watch the players in the video be embarrassed and half heartedly get the crowd pumped up. If you look at them, you can tell that the last thing they want to be doing is making some faggot megatron video to pump up a crowd that is already pumped up. I think CUAD hires the same sugar seizure people that do the Vegas lines. What ever happened to the rap at games?? And I don’t care about you 30-something Uncle Rico’s and how “ya’ll used to do it.” I don’t care if you think that you can’t “spell rap without crap.” Is it your team?? Are YOU on the field?? Are you strapping it up every Saturday for a bunch of drunk fans?? The answer is NO. I think we should let the team decide the atmosphere. And if we turn out to be the Ying Yang Twins of College Football, so be it. Just so long as our players are psyched up and playing well.

I think it’s time that I put my “I hate Tommy Bowden cause he plays conservatively” pitch fork away. He’s finally blasting teams like I’ve always wanted to. I can only hope if we get up on Wake, we keep on blasting them. I love it, if you cruise over to Wake Forest Message Board, hilarity is guaranteed to ensue. They seem to forget who they are playing this weekend. I know, I know, they’ve had our number the last few years, but I don’t see the Tigers having trouble getting up for this game. There’s too much bulletin board material. Just to let you know how good Wake actually is, their kicker received player of the week honors against 1 – AA opponent Liberty last week. The kicker… received player of the week… honors.. against a 1 – AA opponent… WOW. Not a running back or anything expected like that, but a kicker. I also think its cute that they are wearing all black uniforms against us. They actually have to tell their fans to wear all black to Saturday’s game… too bad there’s gonna be more orange than black.

“Mr. Davis? Hi, yes, um, I was wondering if I could have my jersey back… it seems to be stuck in your teeth from when you ran over me.”

Posted by Willy Mac

This is a varitable mix tape of hill runs over the years. *Tear*

Posted by Willy Mac

Dale Gilbert is going to be calling #5 a lot this year.

Posted by Willy Mac

From Virginia up, people are still mulling about their business, planning their “wicked awesome” weekend ahead of them that will more than likely involve a professional ballgame, a “hoagie”, and some sort of mugging followed by a ride on a subcar that reeks of piss. Please, don’t try to convince me otherwise with your overbearing Irish whiskey breath. For the sake of checks and balances, this is the north. The same north where in Connecticut they passed laws to stop keeping score in little league games. This is the same north that penalizes high school football programs for dropping major points on other teams. Look, I used to go to a school where we were the victim, but all I could think about is how I’d love to do the same exact thing to the other team. It’s why man created sports… to drop 63 points on someone… mainly the Gamecocks. I suppose that next they’re going to tell us it’s not ok to finish something someone else started (Sorry but I had to work this in somehow… I love this picture).

In the Great Lake states, people are largely not even thinking about this weekend (Minus the big three: Michigan, Ohio State, and ND… And yes Tully, Michigan always comes before Ohio State. Go cry about it with the rest of the Ohio State gene pool.) That’s what Friday afternoons are for in that region. They’re still concerned about their crops not freezing and being as subtly Canadian as possible.

In the middle states (ie. The Dukes and Temples of the Big 12: Kansas, Iowa State, Colorado, minus Nebraska to some extent, and hell, even Kentucky, though they’re still technically an SEC school), the stereotype is that people are up before the sun comes up and go to bed after the sun goes down, you know, those salt of the earth workdays. And all throughout the day, the only football they’ll even come close to is the steroided, self-important version known as the NFL.

From Arizona up to Washington, well, football on any level isn’t even a blip on the radar. Unless by football they mean tyke soccer… fucking sad. I’d like to throw a tantrum and explain how soccer is the scourge of the earth, but we can save that for a rainy day next March. Given, USC and Cal have great traditions and history, but the rest of that side of America is undeserving of college football. I doubt this blog will reach Washington, but I’ll say it anyways. You’ve got some decent in state teams, so does Oregon, BUT YOU’VE GOT FUCKING AWFUL FANS. You’re too concerned with the Seahawks.

There is a reason that Idaho to the Dakotas was left out. I don’t think 8 track technology has even reached those people. It’s fairly obvious that the love shared between two grown men has though… odd. Oh well, not much to do up there, but that’s still no excuse. Chili once told me that Montana is God’s country. He invited me to go fishing with him and a friend for a weekend a while back… I didn’t go. They didn’t bring back any fish either… hmm.

Now, from the Carolinas to Texas/Oklahoma, that’s my bread and butter. This is the week in the South that millions of man hours are lost. If you wander over to any given teams message board, it’s likely to be flooded with a hundred new posters who decided that it was pertinent to post content such as “I’m a lifelong fan. We’re gonna go undefeated this year! GO [Insert team name]!!!!” Unfortunately, for those of us who actually post year round and don’t let the start of football season TOTALLY jumblefuck our brains, this is the part of the year that is least fun for us. Just check out DSOT. Unfortunately, Clemson has redneck, illiterate yahoos just like every other real football school.

Sadly for the western states, mostly Texas with a little Oklahoma on the side, I’ve experienced first hand that they don’t know how to tailgate. Don’t get me wrong, extremely nice people who try really hard, but it’s just not tailgating. They get an “A” for heart and effort, but the south still wins best in show. Now I’m sure you’ve heard in other blogs, message boards, or newspapers of southern tailgating. People tell of the real die hard fans rolling up in their RVs on Tuesday around noonish. Most of you think, “That’s not true. They’re just puffing out their chest and bullshitting me.” No, as a whole, this is how southern schools do it. I’ve been offered a beer and a biscuit on may way to a Wednesday morning class. When experienced students rent off campus apartments, they don’t look for quality, they look for how many people can fit on the floor on a Friday night before gameday.

There are sights, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, and emotions that are strictly reserved for college football Saturdays in the south east. Sights such as Texas achieving their destiny against USC. Smells like bourbon and chicken in the noon sun. Tastes like a cold beer at 7 am. Feelings like the pulse of a stadium at the climax of a game. Emotions that are unacceptable and inappropriate in most public venues.

Because it’s not soccer. Because we’re born with it in our blood. Because the ties to the schools can go back several generations in some families. Because it’s friends and family. Because it’s what we believe in. Because it’s fun. Because it’s tradition. Because it lets you be young forever. Because no other sport on the face of this earth on any level can ever hold a flame to college football.