Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – November 27^th

Returning Starters – 17 (8 offense, 7 defense, kicker, punter)

2009 Record – 7-6 (3-5)

School’s Location – Concrete Hell, SC

Mascot – Gamecock

Conference – SEC SEC SEC!!!

Head Coach – Steve Spurrier (35-28 at SC, 197-68-2 career)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “Put ‘em Back in Their Place” Game

Weaknesses

We are going to this one a little backwards today, only because I feel like it and because it will be funnier.

• O-Line – The same problem that has haunted them for some time now is still a problem.  The offensive line has been inconsistent for years at Sakerlina, my guess is that big white guys just don’t want to go to a school where they might get mugged on the way to class.
• Defensive Playmaker – Eric Norwood, the All-SEC player and the Gamecock’s interception and sack leader last season, is now getting paid (legally), so the Cocks need someone to step up and lead this defense.
• QB – Despite the disillusions that Sakerlina fans believe, Stephen Garcia wasn’t as good as they thought he was last season.  He ranked 9^th in the SEC in passer rating and 88^th out of 115 in the nation (KP was 77^th, played in a conference championship, and won his bowl game, just wanted to point that out despite losing to these guys) and with another season of shotty o-line play looming, he is going to have to improve in order for SC to “contend” for the SEC East.  On top of that, now the mighty Spurrier is talking about starting a true freshman at QB, which will be hilarious to watch backfire against the defenses of the SEC.  I suggest he do it.

Strengths

• NC – Well, their baseball team won their school’s first men’s National Championship in school history(I repeat, FIRST men’s national championship in school history), too bad they can’t hang that banner beside their ’69 ACC Championship and George Rogers Heisman banners in the “Upside-Down Cockroach” (that’s what Williams-Brice looks like to me).  However, I guess they could put this banner beside their four straight National Championship banners, you know, SEC SEC SEC!!!
• Oh, and I guess they have some pretty good receivers or something.

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – Of course I’m predicting that we win this one.  But, honestly, do I think we will?  Who knows, it’s a toss up.  But I think home field advantage and the realization of what a whupping we got last year will put the odds slightly in our favor. Sakerlina is going to have a pretty good 2010 season, I feel, but there will be no repeat of the beating their o-line put on us last year and our team won’t have the lack of focus that may have helped do them in last year.

Win (8-4)

Sambo’s Pick – According to my predictions to this point, Clemson could be playing in the ACC Championship game again, so that means this will be the second year in a row that they will play a meaningless game against the Cocks.  However, after losing last season’s game and admitting that they were not focused on the rivalry, the team will get fed up when the media will constantly ask them if they will be focused this year, causing them to take out their frustrations on the football field and applying a roundhouse kick to Sakerlina.

Win (10-2)

Return of the Zombie Robot!!!

Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – November 20^th

Returning Starters – 15 (6 offense, 7 defense, kicker, punter)

2009 Record – 5-7 (3-5)

School’s Location – Winston-Salem, NC

Mascot – Demon Deacons

Conference – Atlantic Coast

Head Coach – Jim Grobe (59-51 at Wake, 92-84-1 career)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “Feels Like a Trap Game to Me” Game

Strengths

• WR and RB – Devon Brown and Marshall Williams head a good group of receivers, while Josh Adams and Brandon Pendergrass give Wake two proven backs.  Nothing scary, but at least proven.
• Secondary – CB Kenny Okoro and SS Cyhl Quarles lead a quality secondary that along with some good pass rushers should have a solid season.
• Defensive End – Plenty of depth, headed by Tristan Darty and Gelo Orange (otherwise known as Orange, Gelo) should give Wake a solid year of chasing QBs.

Weaknesses

• QB – Riley Skinner is finally gone, so now Wake has to replace a four-year starter with a trio of guys (Skylar Jones, Ted Stachitos, Brendan Cross) all vying for the job.
• O-Line – They return their center and that’s it.  On top of that, they have no proven tackles which could make it real tough on a new QB.
• Front 7 – Besides defensive end, the rest of the defensive front seven is a muddle of question marks and new starters.

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – As I sat down at my computer today I decided to put on MacGruber in the background. Jesus, this movie is bad. Just joke after joke missing the mark. You know who else misses the mark, it’s Wake Forest. Wake ain’t what they used to be.  Weird saying that in this context.

Win (7-4)

Sambo’s Pick – I’m saying it now – Tiger Woods is back!  He’s officially divorced which means he can whip out the little black book again and go back to being the old Tiger, you know, the one that won an ass-ton of tournaments and banged random chicks constantly.  It’s not grit, determination, or talent that fuels Tiger, it’s sex that makes him win.  He’s back.  (As soon as I wrote this, he triple-bogeyed the first hole of his third round and is now 8 strokes back of the leader, I found that hilarious)  My other point is that Wake lost their 4-year offensive leader, Riley Skinner, and Clemson’s D will exploit that, unless of course that this game is a trap game, then Clemson is screwed.  Then again, Tommy Bowden is long gone.

Win (9-2)

Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – November 13^th

Returning Starters – 18 (10 offense, 6 defense, kicker, punter)

2009 Record – 7-6 (4-4)

School’s Location – Tallahassee, FL

Mascot – Seminoles

Conference – Atlantic Coast

Head Coach – Jimbo Fisher (1^st season)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “From The Bowden Bowl to The (Da/Jim) Bo Bowl” Game

Strengths

• O-Line – FSU returns all five starters from last season’s team, including arguably the nation’s best guard.
• LB – They are very deep at linebacker (and will be deeper if Nigel Carr, currently awaiting the verdict of a felony arrest, is eligible) and bring in the nation’s top LB recruit as well.
• QB – Do you remember where you were when DeAndre McDaniel broke Christian Ponder’s shoulder?  Anyways, Ponder is back and is considered a Heisman candidate for some reason.

Weaknesses

• Defense – Besides linebacker, the rest of the defense is up in the air, mostly because no one knows if the switch from Mickey Andrews’ man coverage to Mark Stoops’ zone coverage will make a big enough difference.  And with as ineffective of a pass rush as FSU had last season, they need to create some more pressure to make things easier for their young secondary.
• RB and WR – FSU has the talent, now they need that talent to prove they are actually talented.

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – Clemson has gotten the better of FSU lately, and I’m sure in their big push to return to where they think they ought to be, they’ll be coming at Clemson with extreme prejudice.  I can see FSU winning this one, but for now I’ll take the Tigers.  Wait, scratch that.  I just tallied up my original predictions and saw I had Clemson at 9-3.  That can’t be right.  Let’s go with 8-4 and Clemson loses at FSU.  With all the Jimbo as savior talk, it seems FSU fans are elbowing out Notre Dame fans as the most unjustifiably entitled fans out there.  Lots of smug coming from Tally with no justification….yet.

Loss (6-4)

Sambo’s Pick – Is anyone else as outraged as I was over the winner of this season’s Last Comic Standing?  The winner, Felipe Esparza, shouldn’t have even made it out of the first round, then for some reason, America voted him the winner over a MUCH funnier and more established comic, Tommy Johnagin.  Ridiculous.  In fact, this is the 4^th time in 7 seasons that America has gotten the winner horribly wrong.  In season one, Ralphie May somehow lost to Dat Phan, in season two, Alonzo Bodden was robbed by John Heffron (but he did go on to win season 3 somehow), and in season 5, Lavell Crawford lost to Willy Mac, I mean, Jon Reep.  Why does America get this wrong every season?  My theory for this insult to comedy is that the people who actually have a sense of humor, also own DVRs and watch it the next day when the voting lines are no longer open.  Meanwhile, the idiots of the world watch it live and vote for non-funny people.  Anyways, FSU wins because of their home field advantage.  Also, I think Block C should patent “The Bo Bowl”.

Loss (8-2)

Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – November 6^th

Returning Starters – 13 (7 offense, 5 defense, kicker)

2009 Record – 5-7 (2-6)

School’s Location – Raleigh, NC

Mascot – Wolfpack

Conference – Atlantic Coast

Head Coach – Tom O’Brien (16-21 at NC State, 91-66 career)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “Why Do I Always Forget That NC State is Even on the Schedule Every Year” Game

Strengths

• QB – Russell Wilson was the ‘08 1^st Team All-ACC QB and led the conference in TDs last season, so look for another strong season for KP’s new baseball teammate.  Also, backup Mike Glennon is a stud-in-waiting.
• Health x 2 – Last season, NC State had more injuries to key players (Nate Irving, Toney Baker, Donald Bowens, Anthony Hill, etc.) than any other team in the country, except maybe Oklahoma, and all of those guys are back this season.  On top of that, because those guys missed so much time, all their backups got valuable game time experience, which is always a good thing.

Weaknesses

• RB – NC State’s top two leading rushers graduated, so there is no proven back to carry load.
• D-Line – All four starters from last year’s team graduated, so this year, the team will be relying on a lot of unproven talent to bolster the defensive line.
• Defense In General – The defense ranked 99^th nationally in scoring defense and 106^th in pass defense last year, and now have an entirely new defensive line and a secondary composed of nothing but sophomores and freshman.  I guess the good news is that their linebackers are pretty good?

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – I think it’s probably easy to sell State short a little bit given their recent performance, but Tom O’Brien’s team has been wracked by an abnormally high number of season ending injuries. Yeah, I am just kidding. I mean, they have been injured, but it wouldn’t matter because they still would be mediocre at best. Clemson will score more points than the Wolfpack before time expires.

Win (5-3)

Sambo’s Pick – I enjoy myself a good movie now and again, but did anybody else feel like this summer’s selection of movies sucked?  I saw Iron Man 2 and Inception, and nothing else because the rest of the movies looked like crap……kind of like NC State.

Win (7-1)

Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – October 30^th

Returning Starters – 16 (8 offense, 7 defense, punter)

2009 Record – 8-5 (5-3)

School’s Location – Chestnut Hill, MA

Mascot – Eagles

Conference – Atlantic Coast

Head Coach – Frank Spaziani (8-5, 5-3 ACC)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “Win by 30 or Lose by 2, No Other Possible Outcome” Game

Strengths

• LB – Cancer survivor, Mark Herzlich, comes back to an already loaded linebacker position.
• O-Line – Always loaded on the offensive line, they are like the Iowa of the ACC for some reason.

Weaknesses

• Pass Rush – They ranked last in the ACC in sacks a year ago (108^th nationally) and lost their top two pass rushers with no viable guys to plug in there this season.
• Passing Game – With uncertainties at QB and WR (new QB and lost their top receiver from last season), they will have to use the run game as a crutch, which will allow defenses to load up in the box, but……
• RB – Montel Harris is one of the most underrated backs in the nation and will be running behind the usual big BC O-line.  However, behind him, this is one of the thinnest positions in the entire ACC.  The backup tore is ACL and is out for most of the season, if not all of it, and the 3^rd string guy is a freshman with no game experience.  Until someone steps up, they have a one-horse stable.

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – Boston College seems to be getting more hype as the season approaches. BC will surely be a good team this year, they bring back a huge number of starters and have some quality veteran leadership. I think the game will come down to the wire reminiscent of the 07′ heartbreak, but we turn the tables on them. We turn the tables on them in a wrong way. We backstab them one way or another.

Win (6-3)

Sambo’s Pick – Does anybody else remember when BC had -5 total yards at the half against Clemson last season?  Yeah, so do I.  Easy win.  Also, I don’t know what a “Scott Pilgrim” is, but I do know that if I see another one of those commercials, I’m driving to LA and kicking that kid’s ass.

Win (8-1)