Archive for the Frank Beamer’s Neck Bubble Category
Posted by Block-C Staff
This week Last week, Tarheel Mania hosted the ACC Blog Roundtable and did a bang up job. Since this is so late getting out there, we’ll skip the links to everyone else and get right to it.
1. What player whom you were not even thinking about in August has made the most positive impact on your team? Conversely, what supposedly key player(s) has fizzled for reasons other than injury?
If we mentioned anyone else other than CJ Spiller, we’d be cheating you. He was the only player we were thinking about in August. Spiller has predictably made the biggest impact for Clemson as a team. Can you imagine where we’d be if we didn’t have him? That statement shouldn’t be used as ammunition against Jamie Harper and Andre Ellington, the two talented back ups in the cupboard. Simply put, CJ Spiller isn’t just a game changer, he’s a game winner. Also, we’re always thinking about football. Silly Tarheel. It figures you’d ask a question like that.
If anyone has fizzled, it’s been Xavier Dye. He toyed with the idea of transferring at the beginning of the year and has paid the price. This was supposed to be a year the Dye had the chance to step up. Until the Miami and Wake Forest games he had very little meaningful output.
2. UNC’s performances, and in particular the two losses, have felt like the ghost of Carl Torbush is roaming the sidelines. What part of your team’s past, positive or negative, has this season drudged up?
Dabo’s continued insistence that the Tigers are only a couple of plays away from being undefeated brings up the bile in our gullets like it did when Tommy Bowden kept uttering the same phrase. The defense, on the other hand, has been stout and reminiscent of some of the better Tiger defenses of the recent past.
3. Because this is the ACC, no team is truly out of the conference race yet; 5-3 can still win the division. Find your inner optimist, no matter how bruised, and tell us why you’re still holding out hope for your team. (This is NOT the best-case scenario question; rather, what your team has shown to indicate success in the immediate future.)
Let’s just pretend that everything the Tigers did against Wake Forest will stick like gum to your shoe and will be the rule, not the exception, from here on out. (Clemson fans know that this is almost certainly not the case. Clemson Football is a rollercoaster, not a walk in the park) The Tigers seemingly solved their red zone issues and unveiled a few (few) new wrinkles in the offensive playbook. The defense was ferocious and dominated the normally poised Riley Skinner.
Ideally, Clemson continues to roll and wins enough games in their jumbled up division to make it to Tampa with a likely rematch against Georgia Tech. A rematch against Tech would be a very winnable one for the Tigers, to boot. So, that’s the super Kool-Aid view of things.
Oh yeah, did we mention that we just beat a #10 Miami team in Dade County? Do you understand? Here, let me smash my fists into the key board to explain the excitement. ii90qp8234yv5towi q029v385mw0[t4u9 [p0wevvvimkaf- ‘if,weacrv0-pa’wi,k340-… Do you understand now?
4. What remaining conference game not involving your team do you look forward to most and why?
Duke-UNC. Coach Cutcliffe has injected new life into the Blue Devils, while UNC fans seem to have gotten a little carried away with Butchmania this season. Objectively, the future for the Heels is probably brighter, but things being relative the Dukies are getting more bang for their buck. It would be interesting if the Devils upended Commish Swofford’s Heels and sort of reshape Heels fans view of their savior. Also, what the hell UNC? Your color is baby blue, not Duke blue. stop it with the uniform changes already. You got the blue you got, deal with it.
5. Now for what Block-C would call the “shits and giggles” question. Offense in the ACC is…well, offensive. To solve this problem we’re putting four ACC offensive coordinators into Thunderdome, where only one man will emerge to smear a football field with his tactics again. Bryan Stinespring and John Shoop are shoo-ins. Nominate at least one more offensive coordinator (preferably, yours) and tell us why he deserves a 75% chance of doom.
Billy Napier is just a littler feller. He doesn’t deserve being in there with all those grizzled veterans with blood and guts and veins stuck between their teeth. Also, we remain unconvinced that Bryan Stinespring is actually the offensive coordinator and not just a hired actor standing in for the Neckbubble, who actually calls the plays. Who knows. Shoop definitely gets in based on meme alone.

Posted by Chili
Let’s see… my mind is still foggy from last night, I’ve got bags under my eyes that would put Vince Vaughn’s to shame, and my heartbeat has been rendered irregular by the bacon explosion we had at the party last night. Mmm… bacon inside of sausage inside of bacon. The only thing better than the bacon explosion? Joining our forums. Do it.

Upstate Today details how KC Rivers is answering his critics. Mainly by scoring lots of points.
CROOTIN’
DE Leon Mackey of Hargrave Prep decommitted from Clemson and committed to Sakerlina. He had signed with Virginia Tech coming out of high school, but did not qualify and therefor enrolled in prep school. According to him, Frank Beamer wouldn’t release him from his LOI to go to another ACC school, rendering moot his committment to Clemson. The neckbubble does not forget; the neckbubble does not forgive. So, on he goes to Beamer’s son at Sakerlina.
**UPDATE** College Game Balls points out that this was no special treatment by VT but an ACC rule on intra-conference LOI issues. CGB also raises a pertinent question: why didn’t Clemson coaches see it coming? I guess you can chalk that one up to inexperience.
Clemson currently has eleven commitments for 2009. Yes, eleven.
Yahoo! brings us the 50 worst announcers in sports. Got to agree with most of them, although I like Mike Patrick. Digger Phelps should be higher, if only for the fact that if you match your tie to your highlighter you’re a douche. Is Mark May an announcer? If he is, he definitely should’ve made the list.
Eurogamer brings us a retrospective of the greatest console in history: the Dreamcast.
Posted by Block-C Staff
In honor of playing Virginia Tech today, we’re reposting the legendary Neck Bubble post. Again, we’re not proud of it, but we damned sure aren’t sorry for posting it.
Before we get around to previewing the VT game tomorrow, we’ve got to get something off our chests and just destroy a joke before it grows. Frank Beamer has a neckbubble, and this is a post about it. Brainstorming out loud, beginning…. now.
EDSBS calls it Jenkins, and says it’s similar to Krang of TMNT fame.
- I think it’s Kuato from Total Recall.
- It’s an alien.
- It’s a sac of baby spiders.
- I bet when he gets angry it kinda swells up and pulsates, but you have to be really close to him to see it undulating, like when he met with Marcus Vick to tell him he was being bounced from the team it just pulsated like there was a second heart inside of it and you could kinda see veins directly underneath the skin. And before it rains it kind of gets harder and is more tumor-like in feel.
- It jiggles like Michael J. Fox in a paint shaker in an earthquake whenever a snowstorm is about to hit Blacksburg.
- Before VT players run onto the field they rub Frank’s Neckbubble.
- He got it after he slept with Holly Rowe.
- It always points to magnetic north.
- It’s a piece of uneaten turkey that he never wiped off after succumbing to its tryptophan and dozing off for a couple days.
- It’s a tiny island nation and renowned tax haven.
- It graduated summa cum laude from VT.
- He got it after Marcus Vick stomped on him during a recruiting trip (Thanks, Eddie Venter for that one).
- In Liberia it is revered as having medicinal powers and he is constantly dodging African witchdoctors trying to slice a lil giblet off of it.
- If you put your ear near it, it emanates a very high pitched humming sound.
- It’s a venom sac.
- It was recently downgraded from a moon to a neckbubble, having once been known as Pluto.
- It is Beamer Ball.
- Every once in a while it will cry “Feed me!” and he must prick his finger and drop blood onto it.
- It’s his swollen medulla oblongata and it’s why he’s so ornery.
- It lactates and its milk is sold at the local Whole Foods.
- When he was young he once tried to go all Bruce Banner and doused himself with gamma rays. All he got was the neckbubble and bloody stool.
- There used to be a lot more neckbubble, but he cut part of it shaving. That chunk became known as Kevin Federline.
- When he’s not using the neckbubble, he keeps it in the VT lunchpale.
- Virginia Tech students paint his neckbubble with a fresh coat of paint with real gold in it prior to every game.
- It’s all a part of us and we’re all a part of the neckbubble.
- It filled in for Jay Leno twice on The Tonight Show.
- His neckbubble is a level 32 night elf in World of Warcraft.
- Frank Beamer is a Christian, but his neckbubble is Jewish.
- It received 3.5 out of 5 stars on Star Search but was beaten by a young Ray Romano.
- It has a sneaker deal with Converse.
- It’s actually an alien well versed on special teams that burrowed itself into Beamer’s neck when he was asleep.
- Frank Beamer is actually an interstellar cockroach, his skin is just on wrong.
- It’s where he saves his “good chaws” of Redman for later.
- The neckbubble is actually the Offensive Coordinator… Bryan Stinespring is a paid actor.
- Frank actually ate his twin brother Peter in the womb, but to this day, Peter refuses to be swallowed.
- The neckbubble is actually some of his skin grafted onto his face because he was horribly scarred from a fire, that’s actually true.
- It calls to me in my dreams.
- It’s fluent in Japanese, Korean, and Cantonese. It’s studying German and it’s getting pretty good.
- It’s actually prosthetic. Frank Beamer just wears it for intimidation and to create awkward situations to laugh about later.
- It posts as “anonymous” on DFIG.
Yeah, we just did this, and we’re not sorry, and we’re not better than that.
Posted by Block-C Staff
Before we get around to previewing the VT game tomorrow, we’ve got to get something off our chests and just destroy a joke before it grows. Frank Beamer has a neckbubble, and this is a post about it. Brainstorming out loud, beginning…. now.
EDSBS calls it Jenkins, and says it’s similar to Krang of TMNT fame.
- I think it’s Quato from Total Recall.
- It’s an alien.
- It’s a sac of baby spiders.
- I bet when he gets angry it kinda swells up and pulsates, but you have to be really close to him to see it undulating, like when he met with Marcus Vick to tell him he was being bounced from the team it just pulsated like there was a second heart inside of it and you could kinda see veins directly underneath the skin. And before it rains it kind of gets harder and is more tumor-like in feel.
- It jiggles like Michael J. Fox in a paint shaker in an earthquake whenever a snowstorm is about to hit Blacksburg.
- Before VT players run onto the field they rub Frank’s Neckbubble.
- He got it after he slept with Holly Rowe.
- It always points to magnetic north.
- It’s a piece of uneaten turkey that he never wiped off after succumbing to its tryptophan and dozing off for a couple days.
- It’s a tiny island nation and renowned tax haven.
- It graduated summa cum laude from VT.
- He got it after Marcus Vick stomped on him during a recruiting trip (Thanks, Eddie Venter for that one).
- In Liberia it is revered as having medicinal powers and he is constantly dodging African witchdoctors trying to slice a lil giblet off of it.
- If you put your ear near it, it emanates a very high pitched humming sound.
- It’s a venom sac.
- It was recently downgraded from a moon to a neckbubble, having once been known as Pluto.
- It is Beamer Ball.
- Every once in a while it will cry “Feed me!” and he must prick his finger and drop blood onto it.
- It’s his swollen medulla oblongata and it’s why he’s so ornery.
- It lactates and its milk is sold at the local Whole Foods.
- When he was young he once tried to go all Bruce Banner and doused himself with gamma rays. All he got was the neckbubble and bloody stool.
- There used to be a lot more neckbubble, but he cut part of it shaving. That chunk became known as Kevin Federline.
- When he’s not using the neckbubble, he keeps it in the VT lunchpale.
- Virginia Tech students paint his neckbubble with a fresh coat of paint with real gold in it prior to every game.
- It’s all a part of us and we’re all a part of the neckbubble.
- It filled in for Jay Leno twice on The Tonight Show.
- His neckbubble is a level 32 night elf in World of Warcraft.
- Frank Beamer is a Christian, but his neckbubble is Jewish.
- It received 3.5 out of 5 stars on Star Search but was beaten by a young Ray Romano.
- It has a sneaker deal with Converse.
- It’s actually an alien well versed on special teams that burrowed itself into Beamer’s neck when he was asleep.
- Frank Beamer is actually an interstellar cockroach, his skin is just on wrong.
- It’s where he saves his “good chaws” of Redman for later.
- The neckbubble is actually the Offensive Coordinator… Bryan Stinespring is a paid actor.
- Frank actually ate his twin brother Peter in the womb, but to this day, Peter refuses to be swallowed.
- The neckbubble is actually one of Frank Beamer’s ass cheeks grafted onto his face because he was horribly scarred from a fire, that’s actually true.
- It calls to me in my dreams.
- It’s fluent in Japanese, Korean, and Cantonese. It’s studying German and it’s getting pretty good.
- It’s actually prosthetic. Frank Beamer just wears it for intimidation and to create awkward situations to laugh about later.
- It posts as “anonymous” on DFIG.
Yeah, we just did this, and we’re not sorry, and we’re not better than that.

