Posted by Sambo

Welcome back to Block C’s Weekly Picks O’ the Week and a lot of eventful things have happened since the last edition.  The Saints won the Super Bowl and have yet to stop partying in New Orleans.  Mel Gibson has been proven to be truly insane, instead of just a crazy person.  Sakerlina fans are now delusional, oh wait, that’s not new.  But most importantly, College Football starts its season tomorrow and we are all psyched to see any kind of football, even if it is Gamecock football (only b/c we will watch so we can pull against them).  But first, I wanted to share something with you I saw this summer that I thought was, well, worth sharing.

As the great Daniel Tosh once said on his show (Tosh.O), “What do we all do when we have a week day off?  Watch the Price is Right.”  And do you know what, he is dead on.  Having had a couple days off this summer, I woke up late and turned on the Price is Right to see if it was still good despite Bob Barker having left the show.  Well, it was, Drew Carey is not that bad, it almost looks like he is having fun up on stage, unlike Bob who just went through the motions towards the end of his career on the show.  Anyways, while I was watching, I saw that the show has plenty of hot models, and there were two white girls on the show that day, the always beautiful Rachel Reynolds and the hot yet slutty looking, Amber Lancaster.  Now, I tell you this to get to the next part of this story.  After having seen the Price is Right, I was flipping through the channels late one night and clicked on MTV looking for a rerun of Nitro Circus or Jackass, but found one of their new shows called The Hard Times of RJ Berger.  I was only watching for two seconds when I got a glimpse of the show’s “hot chick” and instantly thought to myself, “That looks like a less slutty looking version of that model on the Price is Right”.  Wanting to know who this girl was, I went to the greatest website on the planet to resolve a problem like this, IMDB.  And there, I found out that that she wasn’t a less slutty looking version of the chick on the Price is Right, but an equally slutty looking version because she was the slutty looking model from the Price is Right.  And do you know what else I found out while on IMDB?  Amber Lancaster turns 30 years old later this month.  Thirty!  Yet she plays a high schooler on TV.  Which means that she is playing a character that is nearly HALF her own age, and do you know what?  She totally pulls it off somehow.  Which proves my theory that it is impossible for me to be able tell a girl/woman’s age anywhere from 14 to 33 years of age.  And with that, on to some foootbawl!

“FOOOTBAWL!!!!”

ACC Games

(Pick in Bold.  Lines from Bodog.com. Rankings based on Coaches’ Poll)

North Texas Mean Green @ Clemson Tigers (-24)

3:30

-I don’t know how I should pick this game, it’s one of those “This team sucks, so the 2^nd string guys will get some playing time, plus they don’t want to show too much b/c of the upcoming game at Auburn, but at the same time, you want to make the fans happy by running up the score and getting them free tacos, which is very important b/c everyone loves free stuff, especially tacos, so it could go either way, but I can only assume that it will be a beat down, but then again, I am a slightly biased fan, so my judgment of anything Clemson is slightly skewed, so maybe they will play it safe, but who knows, hopefully the coaches know b/c that would be very bad if they don’t know b/c they are running this program and all, but they seem like they have their heads on their shoulders, what with winning a division title last season and all, so we should be good as long as the receivers do anything this season and speaking of that, I’m not a big fan of using the terms ‘us’ or ‘we’ when referring to Clemson’s football team, it just doesn’t seem right to me, I’m not actually playing, I’m not actually on the team, but for some reason I used it anyways, maybe b/c I didn’t want to type out Clemson every time it or maybe b/c I’m lazy, but at the same time, I understand why others do use ‘us’ and ‘we’ when referring to their team and have nothing against others doing it, I’m just saying I don’t like doing it” kind of games.  P.S. longest run-on sentence in Block C history.

#16 LSU Tigers (-1) @ #18 North Carolina Tar Heels

Georgia Dome Atlanta, Georgia

8:00

-Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and throw a big fat asterisk beside this game.  First off, UNC will probably be missing half their team due to illegal contact with agents or academic fraud (learn how to not get caught having someone else write your papers for you, or better yet, don’t take classes where you have to write papers, problem solved).  Second, when LSU wins, I really don’t want to hear Sakerlina fans’ dribble about the SEC SEC SEC and how they own the ACC.  So, when LSU does beat UNC, I’m going to throw an asterisk beside this game and the asterisk will say this “Clemson still owns you, Sakerlina.  The end”.

Navy Midshipmen (-6.5) @ Maryland Terrapins

Monday 4:00

It’s Back!!!

It’s the Coin Flip,

Flipping for the Coin Flip, Game

Come on and sing it with me

(Coin Flip)

Sing it with feelin’ ya’ll

(Coin Flip, Game)

Ooh!

-Coin flip came up heads, so I’m going with Navy.

#5 Boise State Broncos @ #6 Virginia Tech Hokies (+2)

FedEx Field Landover, Maryland

Monday 8:00

-OK, this game seems kind of strange to me, only because Boise State is favored.  Boise State has never beaten a good team away from their blue field in a game that actually matters.  Yes, they won two BCS Bowl games, but that was like their Super Bowl, but a letdown game to their opponents, who didn’t care who won because they would rather be playing in the National Championship game and not against Boise State.  They beat PAC-10 Champion Oregon at home last season, but that was the first game of the year and at home.  The last time they went on the road and played a real team was against Georgia a few years ago and they got destroyed.  I know this isn’t a true home game for the Hokies, but it is close enough and I feel like Boise State’s slower players don’t have a chance in a meaningful game like this one.

Other Games of Interest

#15 Pittsburgh Panthers @ #24 Utah Utes (-3)

Thursday 8:30

-I was watching the high school game, Hoover v. Byrnes this past weekend on ESPN and I found out that the once-legendary Willy Korn has a little brother named Colt, who now plays for Byrnes.  Well, the announcers thought it was fun to say his name, except that kept saying it hilariously wrong.  I’m not kidding here, but they kept saying “Colt McKorn” over and over.  Both announcers, too.  What does this have to do with the Pitt/Utah game?  Nothing.  Deal with it.

Connecticut Huskies (+3) @ Michigan Wolverines

3:30

-Over the summer, I found a funny link of all the most ridiculous laws that still exist on the books in each state.  I would give you the link, but I totally plan on using it again.  Anyways, one of my favorite laws that I read about was from Connecticut and it states, “A pickle cannot actually be a pickle unless it bounces”.  What?!  Does that make any sense to anyone?  If it does, please explain it to me, because I am baffled.  Just imagine being the room as they were passing that law, I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing.

#22 Oregon State Beavers (+13.5) @ #7 TCU Horned Frogs

Cowboys Stadium Arlington, TX

7:45

-One of Oregon State’s primary school colors is orange.  One of TCU’s primary school colors is purple.  When combined, you get orange and purple, which coincidently is also the same colors for Cle….just kidding, it’s the same colors as Hooters.  And honestly, when was the last time you remember eating at Hooters?  I can’t.

Weekly Lock O’ the Week

Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles (+14) @ Sakerlina

Thursday 7:30

-I am picking this game even before I see the spread, only because I saw this on CollegeFootballNews.com, it’s talking about Sakerlina and it made me laugh for twenty minutes:

“ … their last ten-win season was in 1984, which accounts for the only ten-win season in the program’s history. In fact, there have only been two seasons in school history of more than eight wins (1984 and 2001) … the same number as Vanderbilt. The Steve Spurrier era has been considered a disappointment, yet the 35 wins from the Ball Coach represents the best five-year run in the history of South Carolina football. Meanwhile, Florida has won 35 games in the last three seasons.”

Here is the link to that article (click here), it’s CollegeFootballNews’ preview for the Cocks and to make you laugh even more, it literally starts, “South Carolina football sucks.”  I’m not kidding, it really says that.

Last Week’s Record: 0-0

Season Total: 0-0

Lock of the Week Record: 0-0

“By the way, this is Amber Lancaster. Slutty looking, right?”

Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – November 27^th

Returning Starters – 17 (8 offense, 7 defense, kicker, punter)

2009 Record – 7-6 (3-5)

School’s Location – Concrete Hell, SC

Mascot – Gamecock

Conference – SEC SEC SEC!!!

Head Coach – Steve Spurrier (35-28 at SC, 197-68-2 career)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “Put ‘em Back in Their Place” Game

Weaknesses

We are going to this one a little backwards today, only because I feel like it and because it will be funnier.

• O-Line – The same problem that has haunted them for some time now is still a problem.  The offensive line has been inconsistent for years at Sakerlina, my guess is that big white guys just don’t want to go to a school where they might get mugged on the way to class.
• Defensive Playmaker – Eric Norwood, the All-SEC player and the Gamecock’s interception and sack leader last season, is now getting paid (legally), so the Cocks need someone to step up and lead this defense.
• QB – Despite the disillusions that Sakerlina fans believe, Stephen Garcia wasn’t as good as they thought he was last season.  He ranked 9^th in the SEC in passer rating and 88^th out of 115 in the nation (KP was 77^th, played in a conference championship, and won his bowl game, just wanted to point that out despite losing to these guys) and with another season of shotty o-line play looming, he is going to have to improve in order for SC to “contend” for the SEC East.  On top of that, now the mighty Spurrier is talking about starting a true freshman at QB, which will be hilarious to watch backfire against the defenses of the SEC.  I suggest he do it.

Strengths

• NC – Well, their baseball team won their school’s first men’s National Championship in school history(I repeat, FIRST men’s national championship in school history), too bad they can’t hang that banner beside their ’69 ACC Championship and George Rogers Heisman banners in the “Upside-Down Cockroach” (that’s what Williams-Brice looks like to me).  However, I guess they could put this banner beside their four straight National Championship banners, you know, SEC SEC SEC!!!
• Oh, and I guess they have some pretty good receivers or something.

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – Of course I’m predicting that we win this one.  But, honestly, do I think we will?  Who knows, it’s a toss up.  But I think home field advantage and the realization of what a whupping we got last year will put the odds slightly in our favor. Sakerlina is going to have a pretty good 2010 season, I feel, but there will be no repeat of the beating their o-line put on us last year and our team won’t have the lack of focus that may have helped do them in last year.

Win (8-4)

Sambo’s Pick – According to my predictions to this point, Clemson could be playing in the ACC Championship game again, so that means this will be the second year in a row that they will play a meaningless game against the Cocks.  However, after losing last season’s game and admitting that they were not focused on the rivalry, the team will get fed up when the media will constantly ask them if they will be focused this year, causing them to take out their frustrations on the football field and applying a roundhouse kick to Sakerlina.

Win (10-2)

Return of the Zombie Robot!!!

Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – November 20^th

Returning Starters – 15 (6 offense, 7 defense, kicker, punter)

2009 Record – 5-7 (3-5)

School’s Location – Winston-Salem, NC

Mascot – Demon Deacons

Conference – Atlantic Coast

Head Coach – Jim Grobe (59-51 at Wake, 92-84-1 career)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “Feels Like a Trap Game to Me” Game

Strengths

• WR and RB – Devon Brown and Marshall Williams head a good group of receivers, while Josh Adams and Brandon Pendergrass give Wake two proven backs.  Nothing scary, but at least proven.
• Secondary – CB Kenny Okoro and SS Cyhl Quarles lead a quality secondary that along with some good pass rushers should have a solid season.
• Defensive End – Plenty of depth, headed by Tristan Darty and Gelo Orange (otherwise known as Orange, Gelo) should give Wake a solid year of chasing QBs.

Weaknesses

• QB – Riley Skinner is finally gone, so now Wake has to replace a four-year starter with a trio of guys (Skylar Jones, Ted Stachitos, Brendan Cross) all vying for the job.
• O-Line – They return their center and that’s it.  On top of that, they have no proven tackles which could make it real tough on a new QB.
• Front 7 – Besides defensive end, the rest of the defensive front seven is a muddle of question marks and new starters.

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – As I sat down at my computer today I decided to put on MacGruber in the background. Jesus, this movie is bad. Just joke after joke missing the mark. You know who else misses the mark, it’s Wake Forest. Wake ain’t what they used to be.  Weird saying that in this context.

Win (7-4)

Sambo’s Pick – I’m saying it now – Tiger Woods is back!  He’s officially divorced which means he can whip out the little black book again and go back to being the old Tiger, you know, the one that won an ass-ton of tournaments and banged random chicks constantly.  It’s not grit, determination, or talent that fuels Tiger, it’s sex that makes him win.  He’s back.  (As soon as I wrote this, he triple-bogeyed the first hole of his third round and is now 8 strokes back of the leader, I found that hilarious)  My other point is that Wake lost their 4-year offensive leader, Riley Skinner, and Clemson’s D will exploit that, unless of course that this game is a trap game, then Clemson is screwed.  Then again, Tommy Bowden is long gone.

Win (9-2)

Posted by Sambo

Date of Game – November 13^th

Returning Starters – 18 (10 offense, 6 defense, kicker, punter)

2009 Record – 7-6 (4-4)

School’s Location – Tallahassee, FL

Mascot – Seminoles

Conference – Atlantic Coast

Head Coach – Jimbo Fisher (1^st season)

Fun Nickname for this Game – The “From The Bowden Bowl to The (Da/Jim) Bo Bowl” Game

Strengths

• O-Line – FSU returns all five starters from last season’s team, including arguably the nation’s best guard.
• LB – They are very deep at linebacker (and will be deeper if Nigel Carr, currently awaiting the verdict of a felony arrest, is eligible) and bring in the nation’s top LB recruit as well.
• QB – Do you remember where you were when DeAndre McDaniel broke Christian Ponder’s shoulder?  Anyways, Ponder is back and is considered a Heisman candidate for some reason.

Weaknesses

• Defense – Besides linebacker, the rest of the defense is up in the air, mostly because no one knows if the switch from Mickey Andrews’ man coverage to Mark Stoops’ zone coverage will make a big enough difference.  And with as ineffective of a pass rush as FSU had last season, they need to create some more pressure to make things easier for their young secondary.
• RB and WR – FSU has the talent, now they need that talent to prove they are actually talented.

Hilariously Early Pre-Season Prediction

Chili’s Pick – Clemson has gotten the better of FSU lately, and I’m sure in their big push to return to where they think they ought to be, they’ll be coming at Clemson with extreme prejudice.  I can see FSU winning this one, but for now I’ll take the Tigers.  Wait, scratch that.  I just tallied up my original predictions and saw I had Clemson at 9-3.  That can’t be right.  Let’s go with 8-4 and Clemson loses at FSU.  With all the Jimbo as savior talk, it seems FSU fans are elbowing out Notre Dame fans as the most unjustifiably entitled fans out there.  Lots of smug coming from Tally with no justification….yet.

Loss (6-4)

Sambo’s Pick – Is anyone else as outraged as I was over the winner of this season’s Last Comic Standing?  The winner, Felipe Esparza, shouldn’t have even made it out of the first round, then for some reason, America voted him the winner over a MUCH funnier and more established comic, Tommy Johnagin.  Ridiculous.  In fact, this is the 4^th time in 7 seasons that America has gotten the winner horribly wrong.  In season one, Ralphie May somehow lost to Dat Phan, in season two, Alonzo Bodden was robbed by John Heffron (but he did go on to win season 3 somehow), and in season 5, Lavell Crawford lost to Willy Mac, I mean, Jon Reep.  Why does America get this wrong every season?  My theory for this insult to comedy is that the people who actually have a sense of humor, also own DVRs and watch it the next day when the voting lines are no longer open.  Meanwhile, the idiots of the world watch it live and vote for non-funny people.  Anyways, FSU wins because of their home field advantage.  Also, I think Block C should patent “The Bo Bowl”.

Loss (8-2)

Posted by Sambo

Recently (yesterday), a story (click here) surfaced on GoGamecocks.com that doesn’t seem to be getting a lot of attention and should, considering the ramifications if it is true.  Here are the basics:

Where:

The Whitney Hotel

Columbia, SC

What:

-The Whitney Hotel is a higher end hotel in Columbia that offers rooms ranging from $93-$154 a night.

-Rates can be discounted to as low as $57 a night if the guest agrees to stay there a minimum of three months.

-The hotel also offers a limousine service and Steve Spurrier and other Sakerlina coaches have stayed there.

The Situation (but not that fag on Jersey Shore):

-Football players are given a $500 a month stipend for off-campus housing.

-Some of the Sakerlina football players (including tight end and currently under NCAA investigation player, Wesley Sanders) have been staying at this hotel.

-It is impossible to stay at this hotel for $500 a month unless you are being given a HEAVY discount or paying no rent at all.

-The NCAA caught wind of this and have started an investigation seeking to see if any of the players are receiving “extra benefits” from the hotel which would allow the to live there.

-Once this investigation was started, the players living there promptly moved out.

In other words, these players were staying at hotel where their monthly rent would be a minimum of $1,710, yet are only given $500 a month to live off-campus.  That would be impossible unless their parents are paying an unreasonable high rent (laughable) for their kids or someone else is paying the bill (odds on favorite).  When asked about his players staying at the hotel, Steve Spurrier had no comment.  The investigation is still underway and as we all know, this could all be very bad news for the Gamecocks and very good news for Clemson.

“Mug Shot”