Posted by Chili

Two conference wins in a row and the Tigers are CLICKING ON ALL CYLINDERS and sure to repeat the 2009 turnaround and punch motherfuckers in the mouth for each and every game of the season. Tigernet knows this much, but how is Dabo doing? Okay, if you ask them. The naysayers have dissipated for the most part, and you don’t see the outright demands for Dabo and/or his assistants’ firing. Dabo makes some lateral movement due to his misguided outburst two weeks ago against Maryland where he flipped out on the sideline official and threw his gum because of what he thought was an missed offsides call (it wasn’t missed). He acted like a petulant child and got Clemson a 15 yard penalty for his efforts. EXTREME COACHING OUTRAGE. He moves up a bit because, well, he won. He hasn’t yet shuffled off the frightening comparisons to Tommy West, but give him some time to create separation.

Posted by Chili

We all know about that breed of Clemson fan who loves to wax nostalgic over the glory years of Clemson football in the 1980s. I wonder if there are people out there who are wistful over the anti-glory years of Clemson football in the 1990s. It was a situation that, I know, seems completely unfamiliar to Clemson fans today, but let me try and weave you a tale of an AD who hires a good ol boy to take over for a just-fired coach. This guy is real enthusiastic, fan friendly, and a proponent of team toughness. Now, this ol boy doesn’t have real meaningful head coaching experience, but he’s got that certain something that makes him a gamble worth taking. Hell, go ahead and put all your chips in the pot, why not? This ol boy was Tommy West, and he was 31-28 at Clemson, and he’s back.

At least that’s the fear of the most fretful fans. Part of me wants to sit back and watch this Clemson car wreck, but it’s not the same rubbernecking a wreck when it’s someone you care about. If Dabo wants to shuffle off the Tommy West comparisons, he needs to do one thing: win.

Posted by Chili

Dabo tumbles this week in both the intensity axis and obviously in the coaching prowess area. Dabo takes the blame for his underlings’ errors, such as the many brain farts that Kevin Steele’s defense cropdusted the stadium with on Saturday. It was a robust fog of dumbassery. Fans have been complaining that we’ve gone back to the Bowdenesque close losses and that Dabo’s no-nonsense credit-taking for losses is starting to get old. Well, I’m sure Coach Swinney is tired of them too, he wants to win as much as anybody, but the Dab-O-Meter is unforgiving and emotionless like every Russian woman I’ve ever known. Swinney is bumped down the emotion scale as he mostly seemed perplexed at the kind of performance his team was delivering. Or maybe it was the 800 reviews that took place.  So he’s now slightly below Hat Dog, whose confidence inspiring tail wagging and inquisitive ass-sniffing probably could’ve made a difference Saturday. Dabo is in the sector of coaches of questionable worth and above average sideline animation where he’ll probably bump into Derek Dooley. Until next time…

Posted by Chili

BOOM and you thought it wasn’t going to happen. The Dab-O-Meter has been in the shop for repairs and is now ready to roll out for the oh ten footbaw season. You’ll notice one change in the metrics of the graph (no, Ham Sandwich didn’t move up the y-Axis of Coaching Prowess) where last year I focused on one of Dabo’s unique qualities, Southern Folksy Charm, this has been pretty well established as being well into “eating at Snappy Lunch with Opie and Barney” territory. This year I am focusing on another of Dabber’s traits that certainly emerged in the neatly packaged gift of a game we presented to Auburn last week: SIDELINE INTENSITY.

This lineup is debatable, sure, but I think it pretty well hones in on who is more “getting crunk” and who is more “sipping lean” as the young people say. Chan Gailey sets the bar for moss-growing football coaches, not just in his demeanor but in the style of play his boring ass GT teams were known for. Sweatervest guy is next, and could arguably be the most sleepy. NCSU’s Tom O’Brien is a little more active, but I still think he’s afraid to move too much lest he injure himself like his players tend to do. Nick Saban is just on the other edge of middleground. He will get on players and officials, but his entire manner is this detached nonplussed robot who has kind of a cunty look on his face all the time. Mike Stoops of Arizona is a highly animated coach, see, look at this picture of him yelling. Nobody else but Ed Orgeron could top the list, and I don’t even know if he counts as he is clearly part wildebeest. This lineup could shift depending on if Jim Tressel actually falls asleep during a game or if Ed Orgeron exerts himself so hard that an eyeball pops out and the odd assortment of ten-penny nails, sharks’ teeth, and individually packaged hot sauces that populate the inside of his skull tumble out all akimbo onto the sideline.

Well, you see on the chart that Dabo started out pretty well this season. (oh, and his position on the graph this year isn’t exactly where it ended last year, so deal with it) Most of the fanbase has confidence in him. You’d think the showing at Auburn would’ve moved him up a bit due to moral victory points, but a lot of people sort of got frustrated about Clemson football, wondering if frustratingly close losses would haunt Dabo as they did Tommy Bowden. However, the bruising, physical play is something near and dear to old Clemson fans’ hearts and was a welcome sight for everyone, including myself. The only real movement he makes is horizontally, as he was much more rabid on the sidelines than usual. This weekend’s Miami game could propel him up a bit, we’ll see.

Posted by Chili

Clemson was trounced by Sakerlina last weekend. While that would reflect poorly on a coach regardless of the circumstances due to the rivalry aspect, the fact that several players have come out this week saying the team wasn’t mentally prepared for the matchup, even going so far as to say that they thought they could put on their shoulder pads and be better than Carolina. This falls squarely on Dabo’s shoulders. Even with an ACC Championship Game looming on the horizon, the team should’ve been absolutely focused on the task at hand; beating their damned rivals. Maybe chalk this up to coaching inexperience, I don’t know what. Beyond that, Dabo had some downright Bowdenish comments after the Sakerlina loss, saying something along the lines of beating the Gamecocks is commonplace, but the ACC Championship isn’t something the Tigers have done in over a decade, basically downplaying the loss. Maybe I’m putting words in his mouth, but that’s bullshit (I mean it’s actually true, but remember the Dab-O-Meter is all calculated on fan reaction. Its mercury is mouthbreather vitriol). Do both damnit.

Regardless, Dabo has clearly moved up a slight notch in fans’ minds over the course of the season as most messageboard denizens are not calling for his head, but placing the blame on some of his assistants or on individual players. As you can clearly see, the lofty heights above the Dab-O-Meter are gone. Were they ever really there, or was it all a dream? Well, actually if you check previous posts, you see that they were indeed there and I cropped them out in Photoshop, so that answers that. Things have been taken down a notch. Next week they could ramp up a ton, or fizzle just a bit more. Time will tell.