Posted by Chili

Clemson stepped up to the plate and beat UVA, showing they can finish the deal even when they knew the title was theirs by default with BC losing earlier in the day. Dabo is endearing himself to the Clemson faithful more and more each day, but his status on the Dab-O-Meter can only change incrementally now that he’s so close to Danny. He’ll have to be happy with the baby steps until I devise a new representational chart of Dab-O-Metrics. I’m way too busy trying to create the interactive Dab-O-Meter shirt. It’s like Shirt 2.0, you guys!

Next week will hopefully see another bump up in the ol’ meter. Oh, and a slight change has been made in the hopes of making the meter a bit more accurate. Let’s see if anyone notices.

Posted by Chili

"Well.... better late than never..."

Sorry for the delay everybody. Hectic week. Pulling all-nighters, being chased by Italian drug dealers, crazy stuff. Anyway, the overall movement made by Dabo this week may not register as mightily on the Dab-O-Meter as it has in fans’ hearts because the victory over NCSU was expected. As I stated last week it did represent, however, a possible break from the bitchassness of the previous administration. I’ll reserve judgment on that, however as I’VE BEEN HURT BEFORE, DABO. He moved slightly towards Mayberry on the SFC slider by spouting such buttermilk coated quotes as “God must have been in a good mood when he created CJ Spiller.” That’s gonna win over Women’s Circle Number 9 for sure. Next week, honestly, is going to be an interesting one for Dabo. Surely he’ll jump if the Tigers make their first trip to the ACCCG by beating UVA, but what happens if we somehow lose yet still make it via a BC loss? How far does Dabo fall if the Tigers don’t make it at all? I mean he’s already won over tons of fans and cause Tigernet to get to witch-hunt mode where the slobbering masses peruse people’s post history to see if they ever uttered a critical word about him so they can virtually tar and feather the naysayers. Here’s this week’s meter everybody.

Knifedog appears on the Dab-O-Meter for the first time because I couldn’t stop him if I wanted to. Also he’d be a hell of a coaching prospect for any hungry young AD looking to hire a canine that will do whatever it takes to win. He’s like a slightly more scrupulous and mentally stable Charlie Pell.

Posted by Chili

Dabo and the Tigers battled it out with the Seminoles, and Dabo showed signs that he’ll get Clemson to break free of the shackles of bitchassness inherent in Tommy Bowden’s Tigers. More than one local news article on the game compared Swinney, albeit tentatively, to Danny Ford. The euphoria that erupted two weeks ago with the victory in Miami moved little after the expected thrashing of Coastal Carolina, but has now reached a fever pitch with the thrashing of Florida State. Suddenly the true scale of the Dab-O-Meter is revealed, and the trip to the top is a far longer one than some might expect.
The next two weeks’ matchups will budge the Dab-O-Meter a bit, with the possibility of a huge swing with a trip ACC Championship Game.

Posted by Chili

Just weeks ago Dabo had slid down into the netherquadrants of the Dab-O-Meter. The more fickle fans were burning their ALL IN shirts and flinging their own excrement in shame, rage, and mild confusion. A solid victory over Wake seemed to right the ship a bit, but we’d have to wait to see if things took a Tommy Bowden plunge into bitchassness.

Thankfully they did not, though a careful nitpicking of the game proves that there were still a fair share of coaching and execution shortcomings to make one at least a bit cautious about the future and to suggest that perhaps you oughta hold off just for a couple weeks before buying your tickets to Tampa.

The fan base has always been quick to throw caution into the wind, and as the freshness started to wear off the Miami upset, fans were fumbling over their keyboards to type I’M ALL IN AGAIN and post it on Tigernet as fast as their gravy stained fingers could handle. Let’s look at where Dabo has moved this week. Remember, for whoever last week was whining about not being able to decipher the graph, we’ve got the Southern Folksy Charm rating along the x axis, represented by the Wal-Mart child slapper to Andy Griffith scale. Along the y axis is the scale of coaching prowess from Danny Ford to ham sandwich.



The Tigers left Landshark Stadium a burning husk filled with charred jorts and gold chains. Dabo Swinney rode out of South Beach (because that’s exactly where the stadium is, right on the beach! Really!) on the shoulders of giants in orange and white and surveyed his team’s magnificent stance as the top squad in the nationally respected, mighty, dog-eat-dog ACC Atlantic Division. Could this coach, in his first full year at the helm of the Tigers, really take the team to the ACCCG? Can Dabo do what Bowdendn’t? (feel free to put that on a shirt you guys). He certainly seems to have come full circle… err… sort of rhomboid back to near or slightly above where he was when hired.

Next week we’ll see what happens when the Tigers take on the Coastal Carolina Totally Rad Aquachickens in a matchup with little upside for the Dab-O-Meter. Win big and he barely moves up as it’s expected, a close game maybe nudges him down a bit, and a loss would precipitate a fall dangerously close to busting through the bottom of the chart where a malevolent Cerberus of coaching abominations (whose figure may be revealed in a future post) is chained, its maws glistening with slobber as it waits to gobble up a coaching failure. Let’s hope he doesn’t meet the three headed faildog. Until next time.

Posted by Chili

The Dab-O-Meter has taken some wild swings as of late. First there was the alleged verbal scuffle between Dabo and Billy Napier that served to cause a wild swing on the Southern Folksy Charm slider for Coach Swinney. He immediately flipped over to “Georgia man who slapped a three year old in a Wal-Mart” territory crossbred with some questionable coaching chops into what I call the Tom Cable Confused Fisticuffsmanship Sector.

Though the Dab-O-Meter is a choleric metric, it can also be easily forgiving as it is based on the turbulent Kool-Aid pool of staggering subjectivity that is the Clemson fanbase. Wake Forest marched into Death Valley and once again was beaten pretty damned badly. There is an old Confucian saying, “I’m gonna beat your ass so bad your kids are gonna be born with bruises” and maybe that’s the deal with Wake Forest and the 82-24 slaughtering Danny Ford’s Tigers laid on Al Groh’s Deacons during the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON. Anyway, Dabo seems like a coaching prodigy who has ironed out all the problems of Clemson’s season and has got the Tigers on a smooth road to trophy-town. To some folks. For now. We see him bob back up slightly above his post-Maryland levels and a bit more charming, but with an edge. An embryonic Frank Howard to some.

Nobody knows what the Dab-O-Meter will do if the Tigers can knock off the Hurricanes this weekend. Stick around and find out, won’t you?