Well, my picks were dead even last week, but I did get lucky twice and also got screwed twice.  The lucky ones were the Clemson and UNC games, both of which I picked before the lines went up.  I picked Clemson at -24, then line jumped to -27 and I got LSU at -1 before it jumped to double digits.  As for the two games I feel I got screwed on, one was the Maryland v. Navy game.  Navy should have destroyed Maryland, but fumbled the ball twice on the one yard line, missed a chip-shot field goal, and got stuffed on the half yard line, then lost by three, no way should Navy have not covered that line.  And this may not seem like getting screwed, but Virginia Tech blew an easy cover for me in the last minute of their game against Boise St.  What the hell happened?  They had been shutting down Boise’s offense from the 1^st quarter on and then imploded in the last minute.  Terrible way to blow my pick, but it all evened out, so technically I’m not a loser….yet.

Alright, I don’t know if this has been brought up before, but it sure needs to be brought to light.  What the hell is wrong with Charlie Whitehurst?

Now, I know the guy is somehow bringing in $4 million a year (good for him, but he is way overpaid for a back-up QB who has never thrown a regular season pass attempt, but somehow has a 15 yard TD run), but making that much money would make you think he could afford a haircut.  Instead, he looks like Retard Jesus.  I would understand growing a beard and looking like a caveman if you played on a cold weather team like Green Bay, Buffalo, Denver, or New England.  But he played his first few seasons in San Diego, a city that freaks out if the weather dips below 75 degrees, and now plays in rainy Seattle, a place not known for its freezing cold temperatures and known more for the band Nirvana and Bill Gates.  Come on Chuck, please shave that ridiculous beard off, if not for me, do it so women will think you don’t look like Retard The Dude and you can get laid again.  Then again, making $4 million a year will get you laid anywhere, even if you do look like Retard Prince of Persia.

And with that, on to some foootbawl!

“Foootbawl!!!”

ACC Games

(Pick in Bold.  Lines from Sportsbook.com. Rankings based on Coaches’ Poll)

Duke Blue Devils @ Wake Forest Demon Deacons (-4.5)

12:00

-I’ve finally figured out the difference between college and pro football.  And no, it’s not that pro players are faster and get paid (legally).  And no, it’s not the pro football TV timeouts are frustratingly too frequent (score, commercial, kickoff, commercial, three and out, commercial, why?!?).  It’s that colleges have school bands.  Yes, both college and pro football loudly play outdated rap music, but the band does fill those awkward voids in-between plays that make college football so unique.  So, next time you are beating up a band geek, give him (or her) one less wedgie or swirly for making college football somewhat more awesome.

#17 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (-13.5) @ Kansas Jayhawks

12:00

-Hollywood is really scraping the well for movie ideas now a day.  Here is a list of the movies that are set to come out next summer and it is basically nothing but sequels, prequels, and remakes:

• Footloose – Who thought this movie was good enough in the first place, that it needed a remake?
• Scream 4 – Considering there is a Saw 5, this isn’t really a surprise.
• Thor – Not a remake, but another crappy comic book movie.
• Pirates of the Caribbean 4 – This one I can get behind, only b/c Ian McShane is playing Blackbeard, and Ian McShane is the effing man.
• The Hangover 2 – Really?  Are they going to get black out wasted again?  I don’t see a reasonable plot here.
• Kung Fu Panda 2 – Meh.
• X-Men: First Class – So, they already made a prequel that sucked, now they are making another prequel that will suck even more.
• Green Lantern – See Thor.
• Cars 2 – See Kung Fu Panda 2.
• Transformers 3 – The first one was awesome, the second one should have caused WWIII, it was that bad.  This one can only go up.
• Harry Potter 7-2 – Part two of the 7^th movie.  Milking it at this point.
• Captain America – See Green Lantern.
• Project X – I was a big fan of this movie as a kid b/c it had monkeys, but looking back, it was a really fucked up movie, why are they remaking it?
• Mission Impossible 4 – Tom Cruise needs more money to continue his plot to take over the world.
• Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 – Yikes.
• Harold and Kumar 3 – Didn’t see the 2^nd one, why break that streak now?

Next week, I will continue this discussion with the 2012 movie schedule.

Kent State Golden Flashes (+17.5) @ Boston College Eagles

1:30

-What exactly is a “Golden Flash”?  After some research, I still have no idea.  But after giving up, I did look at the Kent State logo and the best I can come up with is that a Golden Flash is some sort of bird that is also on fire, but at the same time, it is golden.  What I’m trying to say is that the Kent State mascot is Awesome and that you should never bet against a Golden Flash.  Ever.

#18 Florida State Seminoles (+8) @ #10 Oklahoma Sooners

3:30

-Holy shit, do you know what a “Sooner” actually is?  It was a settler who illegally claimed land from the Indians before the President allowed other settlers to legally claim land from the Indians.  Either way, it sounds pretty terrible, but especially if you were a “Sooner”.  Basically, President Grover (love it) Cleveland passed The Indian Appropriations Act in 1889 which moved Indians to reservations so that settlers could then move in after a certain deadline and take the land that the Indians used to live on.  And “Sooners” were settlers that ignored that date and claimed the Indians’ land before anyone else could.  What dicks, I mean, stealing land from Indians is one thing, but stealing land from settlers who are stealing land from Indians is totally crossing the line.

#12 Miami Hurricanes (+9.5) @ #2 Ohio State Buckeyes

3:40

-When thinking of Jack Nicklaus, you think awesome golfer.  But what sport would you think the Golden Bear’s grandson would be a star in?  If you guessed golf, you were on the opposite side of the sport’s spectrum.  Jack O’Leary (click here for his profile) is a stud football player out of Florida.  Currently, he is the number one ranked tight end recruit for both Rivals.com and ESPN (I would see where he is ranked on Scout.com, but I hate how effing slow that site is, so it can be damned) and has offers from every major program in the country.  After seeing him play on Monday on ESPN, the dude is legit, he can catch and he can bowl people over, on top of that, he plays safety and he is the team’s punter.  I can honestly say that I did not see that coming.

NC State Wolfpack (+3) @ Central Florida Knights

7:30

It’s the Coin Flip,

Flipping for the Coin Flip, Game

Come on and sing it with me

(Coin Flip)

Sing it with feelin’ ya’ll

(Coin Flip, Game)

Ooh!

-Coin flip came up tails, so I’m going with NC State.

Virginia Cavaliers @ “The REAL USC” Southern California Trojans (-19.5)

10:30

-Now, let me preface what I mean by “The REAL USC”.  By saying that USC is “The REAL USC”, that would mean that there is a debate as to whom “The REAL USC” really is, Southern Cal (or USC) or Sakerlina.  Which means USC is USC and not “The REAL USC” because we already know that, and Sakerlina is just “SC” or Sakerlina and not USC.  And to make things more complicated, you can’t refer to Sakerlina as “Carolina” either because everyone knows that when you say “Carolina” you are talking about North Carolina.  In other words, Sakerlina sucks (and if you didn’t click on this link last week, CollegeFootballNews.com really did say “South Carolina football sucks”, some people didn’t believe me.  It’s the first sentence of their preview and it is hilarious, click here).

Other Games of Interest

Michigan Wolverines (+3.5) @ Notre Dame Fighting Irish

3:30

-Yes or no, do you think the Michigan fans hate the fact that when most people think of a wolverine, they either think of the super-cool X-Men character or the movie Red Dawn.  Oh yeah, Hollywood is remaking that movie as well.  I don’t understand how you can remake this when it was made at the height of the Cold War and was all about Russians invading the US.  Who is going to invade the US in this one?  Terrorists?  Not a big enough army.  China?  Not really at war with them.  Russia again?  That doesn’t make any sense.  Come on Hollywood, if you are going to remake a movie, make sure it will be something good, you know, like Howard the Duck or The Care Bears.  And speaking of movies that never had a sequel, how does Top Gun 2 sound about now?  Pretty damn good with some of the crap coming out.

#14 Penn St. Nittany Lions @ #1 Alabama Crimson Tide

7:00

-We are going back to that link I was talking about last week which lists all the ridiculous laws that are still on the books in each state.  Except this week, I thought that the laws for both Pennsylvania and Alabama were really funny and I want you guys to vote in the comments which one is the funniest and the winner is going to be my pick for this game.  Here they are:

Pennsylvania – “It’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.”

Alabama – “It’s illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.”

Get to voting!  I’m depending on you guys to make the right decision…..ummm, that could backfire.

Weekly (game) Cock O’ the Week

#19 Georgia Bulldogs (+3) @ #25 Sakerlina

12:00

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Week’s Record: 3-3-1

Season Total: 3-3-1

(game) Cock of the Week Record: 0-1