Welcome back to Block C’s Weekly Picks O’ the Week and a lot of eventful things have happened since the last edition.  The Saints won the Super Bowl and have yet to stop partying in New Orleans.  Mel Gibson has been proven to be truly insane, instead of just a crazy person.  Sakerlina fans are now delusional, oh wait, that’s not new.  But most importantly, College Football starts its season tomorrow and we are all psyched to see any kind of football, even if it is Gamecock football (only b/c we will watch so we can pull against them).  But first, I wanted to share something with you I saw this summer that I thought was, well, worth sharing.

As the great Daniel Tosh once said on his show (Tosh.O), “What do we all do when we have a week day off?  Watch the Price is Right.”  And do you know what, he is dead on.  Having had a couple days off this summer, I woke up late and turned on the Price is Right to see if it was still good despite Bob Barker having left the show.  Well, it was, Drew Carey is not that bad, it almost looks like he is having fun up on stage, unlike Bob who just went through the motions towards the end of his career on the show.  Anyways, while I was watching, I saw that the show has plenty of hot models, and there were two white girls on the show that day, the always beautiful Rachel Reynolds and the hot yet slutty looking, Amber Lancaster.  Now, I tell you this to get to the next part of this story.  After having seen the Price is Right, I was flipping through the channels late one night and clicked on MTV looking for a rerun of Nitro Circus or Jackass, but found one of their new shows called The Hard Times of RJ Berger.  I was only watching for two seconds when I got a glimpse of the show’s “hot chick” and instantly thought to myself, “That looks like a less slutty looking version of that model on the Price is Right”.  Wanting to know who this girl was, I went to the greatest website on the planet to resolve a problem like this, IMDB.  And there, I found out that that she wasn’t a less slutty looking version of the chick on the Price is Right, but an equally slutty looking version because she was the slutty looking model from the Price is Right.  And do you know what else I found out while on IMDB?  Amber Lancaster turns 30 years old later this month.  Thirty!  Yet she plays a high schooler on TV.  Which means that she is playing a character that is nearly HALF her own age, and do you know what?  She totally pulls it off somehow.  Which proves my theory that it is impossible for me to be able tell a girl/woman’s age anywhere from 14 to 33 years of age.  And with that, on to some foootbawl!

“FOOOTBAWL!!!!”

ACC Games

(Pick in Bold.  Lines from Bodog.com. Rankings based on Coaches’ Poll)

North Texas Mean Green @ Clemson Tigers (-24)

3:30

-I don’t know how I should pick this game, it’s one of those “This team sucks, so the 2^nd string guys will get some playing time, plus they don’t want to show too much b/c of the upcoming game at Auburn, but at the same time, you want to make the fans happy by running up the score and getting them free tacos, which is very important b/c everyone loves free stuff, especially tacos, so it could go either way, but I can only assume that it will be a beat down, but then again, I am a slightly biased fan, so my judgment of anything Clemson is slightly skewed, so maybe they will play it safe, but who knows, hopefully the coaches know b/c that would be very bad if they don’t know b/c they are running this program and all, but they seem like they have their heads on their shoulders, what with winning a division title last season and all, so we should be good as long as the receivers do anything this season and speaking of that, I’m not a big fan of using the terms ‘us’ or ‘we’ when referring to Clemson’s football team, it just doesn’t seem right to me, I’m not actually playing, I’m not actually on the team, but for some reason I used it anyways, maybe b/c I didn’t want to type out Clemson every time it or maybe b/c I’m lazy, but at the same time, I understand why others do use ‘us’ and ‘we’ when referring to their team and have nothing against others doing it, I’m just saying I don’t like doing it” kind of games.  P.S. longest run-on sentence in Block C history.

#16 LSU Tigers (-1) @ #18 North Carolina Tar Heels

Georgia Dome Atlanta, Georgia

8:00

-Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and throw a big fat asterisk beside this game.  First off, UNC will probably be missing half their team due to illegal contact with agents or academic fraud (learn how to not get caught having someone else write your papers for you, or better yet, don’t take classes where you have to write papers, problem solved).  Second, when LSU wins, I really don’t want to hear Sakerlina fans’ dribble about the SEC SEC SEC and how they own the ACC.  So, when LSU does beat UNC, I’m going to throw an asterisk beside this game and the asterisk will say this “Clemson still owns you, Sakerlina.  The end”.

Navy Midshipmen (-6.5) @ Maryland Terrapins

Monday 4:00

It’s Back!!!

It’s the Coin Flip,

Flipping for the Coin Flip, Game

Come on and sing it with me

(Coin Flip)

Sing it with feelin’ ya’ll

(Coin Flip, Game)

Ooh!

-Coin flip came up heads, so I’m going with Navy.

#5 Boise State Broncos @ #6 Virginia Tech Hokies (+2)

FedEx Field Landover, Maryland

Monday 8:00

-OK, this game seems kind of strange to me, only because Boise State is favored.  Boise State has never beaten a good team away from their blue field in a game that actually matters.  Yes, they won two BCS Bowl games, but that was like their Super Bowl, but a letdown game to their opponents, who didn’t care who won because they would rather be playing in the National Championship game and not against Boise State.  They beat PAC-10 Champion Oregon at home last season, but that was the first game of the year and at home.  The last time they went on the road and played a real team was against Georgia a few years ago and they got destroyed.  I know this isn’t a true home game for the Hokies, but it is close enough and I feel like Boise State’s slower players don’t have a chance in a meaningful game like this one.

Other Games of Interest

#15 Pittsburgh Panthers @ #24 Utah Utes (-3)

Thursday 8:30

-I was watching the high school game, Hoover v. Byrnes this past weekend on ESPN and I found out that the once-legendary Willy Korn has a little brother named Colt, who now plays for Byrnes.  Well, the announcers thought it was fun to say his name, except that kept saying it hilariously wrong.  I’m not kidding here, but they kept saying “Colt McKorn” over and over.  Both announcers, too.  What does this have to do with the Pitt/Utah game?  Nothing.  Deal with it.

Connecticut Huskies (+3) @ Michigan Wolverines

3:30

-Over the summer, I found a funny link of all the most ridiculous laws that still exist on the books in each state.  I would give you the link, but I totally plan on using it again.  Anyways, one of my favorite laws that I read about was from Connecticut and it states, “A pickle cannot actually be a pickle unless it bounces”.  What?!  Does that make any sense to anyone?  If it does, please explain it to me, because I am baffled.  Just imagine being the room as they were passing that law, I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing.

#22 Oregon State Beavers (+13.5) @ #7 TCU Horned Frogs

Cowboys Stadium Arlington, TX

7:45

-One of Oregon State’s primary school colors is orange.  One of TCU’s primary school colors is purple.  When combined, you get orange and purple, which coincidently is also the same colors for Cle….just kidding, it’s the same colors as Hooters.  And honestly, when was the last time you remember eating at Hooters?  I can’t.

Weekly Lock O’ the Week

Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles (+14) @ Sakerlina

Thursday 7:30

-I am picking this game even before I see the spread, only because I saw this on CollegeFootballNews.com, it’s talking about Sakerlina and it made me laugh for twenty minutes:

“ … their last ten-win season was in 1984, which accounts for the only ten-win season in the program’s history. In fact, there have only been two seasons in school history of more than eight wins (1984 and 2001) … the same number as Vanderbilt. The Steve Spurrier era has been considered a disappointment, yet the 35 wins from the Ball Coach represents the best five-year run in the history of South Carolina football. Meanwhile, Florida has won 35 games in the last three seasons.”

Here is the link to that article (click here), it’s CollegeFootballNews’ preview for the Cocks and to make you laugh even more, it literally starts, “South Carolina football sucks.”  I’m not kidding, it really says that.

Last Week’s Record: 0-0

Season Total: 0-0

Lock of the Week Record: 0-0

“By the way, this is Amber Lancaster. Slutty looking, right?”