mogrits on 
AParker on 
Willy Mac on Hey, Clemson just started up their 2010 school year last week. As this marks my 7th year at Thomas G. Clemson’s place, I thought I’d share some accumulated knowledge and then segue to random cranky ass comments about stuff.
First of all maybe Clemson wasn’t your dream school for life. Chances are maybe you followed another southeastern school growing up. Well, you go here now, asshole. Take that T or G sticker off your SUV and conform already. This only goes for undergrads. Grad students either don’t care or are understandably attached to their undergraduate schools or madrassas.
You can’t and won’t beat Parking Services. It just can’t be done. The best you can do is flip one of those little carts they ride in over when they’re not looking. Do it. Go ahead, do it, don’t be a pussy, do it. Yeah. High five.
You know what, Clemson? You let me down when you let Ancheaux’s close. One chain restaurant that does the same thing with more cheer and brighter colors opens up across the street and you flock to it.
Oh, Clemson bars. How do I love and hate thee. I love you because you’re cheap, you’re uniquely Clemson, and you’re full of beautiful girls. I hate you because every Thursday to Saturday night you’re crowded elbow to asshole. Knowing nothing about the realities of the F&B industry in a small college town I’ve always thought Clemson could handle another couple of bars. Something with a bit different atmosphere, maybe. Who knows. Let’s brainstorm on this a bit.
Speaking of bars, I was at Backstreet’s the other night and heard somebody order a mint julep. A mint julep? Really? Yeah, let me just get a silver cup from under the bar, Colonel. This isn’t the derby, jerkoff. His buddy ordered a “scotch and coconut water.” Thankfully the bartender gave them both the “are you fucking kidding me” dismissive look that helped to hopefully shame those two kids into ordering straight bourbon for a while.
Hey, Super Taco. Just keep doing what you do.
Glenn Beck at Littlejohn? Well, we’re guaranteed that no matter how bad Brad Brownell’s first season is, the Tigers won’t be the most unbearable thing in the John this year.
1chris simp
on Sep 1, 2010 at 6:20 am:
Well said!!!
2AParker
on Sep 1, 2010 at 6:40 am:
Chili, best written post you’ve done in years.
I can’t stand fucking Moe’s. Ancheaux’s was the best thing going on the downtown strip, and its gone. Where the hell am I going to get a Black Jack from now? Fucking Moes.
I did beat Parking Services, but it happened after graduation, and I still have outstanding tickets. Come get me douche bags.
Anyone who orders those items at a bar should be forcefed mayo shots. Thats my opinion.
I’m looking forward to Super Taco this friday. Nothing starts off a football season better than Mexican from one of the Clemson area restraunts. Always good shit.
3Riggs
on Sep 1, 2010 at 6:54 am:
I still hold a special place of hate in my heart for parking services . . . I had a lab that started at 4:40 and officially ran until 7:30, but I’d end up staying until 10 or so. At the time, It was legal to park in the green spaces after 4:30 . . . I only got two or three tickets, but a ticket at 4:25 is bullshit.
They also towed my car when I was moving out at the end of the year . . . I had to walk to the police office only to be told that they only take checks, “I looked the cop in the eye and said, “I’d love to pay with a check, it’s in my car, with the rest of my belongings – you towed my car while I was in the bathroom.”
4Willy Mac
on Sep 1, 2010 at 7:28 am:
Sorry guys but fuck Ancheaux’s. Just because it’d been there for a while doesn’t mean it is better. I mean sure, I was pissed when Moe’s came in and started taking away from local business, but the quality between the two was miles apart. Say all you want, but Ancheaux’s was dirty as fuck and nobody there cared. Sorry, but fuck mom and pop shops that can’t get their shit together. There are plenty of coffee shops that do just fine, even with a Starbuck’s in the neighborhood.
5AParker
on Sep 1, 2010 at 7:42 am:
Willy if i had a rubber hose i would beat the living…
6Willy Mac
on Sep 1, 2010 at 7:48 am:
Hey, if you like dogshit with beans and stale rice rolled up together, whatever. Personally I’m a Chipotle kind of guy. And plus Ancheaux’s didn’t serve beer. To you understand how awesome it was to come in after a knock down drag out workout and get a huge burrito AND some beer? Seriously, nostalgia aside, Ancheaux’s was shitty.
7penthousetiger
on Sep 1, 2010 at 8:15 am:
blackjack was good, their burritos left a lot to be desired. think of the business Super Taco would do if they had that location
8AParker
on Sep 1, 2010 at 8:19 am:
@7 We should request them move there
@6 Chipotle is the best of any burrito chain. I will agree at the end of its time Ancheaux’s burritos were extremely hit or miss (luckily i knew the people there so always a hit when i was back in town), but the Blackjack was the best sandwich hands down in Clemson. And if I wanted beer with mexican food, I’d go to Fiesta off of 93 where they do $10 all you can drink Bud Light an Tequila. God those were fun nights.
9George
on Sep 1, 2010 at 8:55 am:
@6 – Will, you’re right, Ancheaux’s smelled and tasted like burnt asshole. Or, what I’d imagine burnt asshole to smell and taste like.
@8 – Fiesta apparently no longer does “Fiesta Friday” aka all you can drink.
10gunz
on Sep 1, 2010 at 9:36 am:
The guy who owned Ancheaux’s apparently moved to Winston Salem (though I can’t think of a single reason why someone would move here) with the intention/dream of going out to California. A friend of mine was hooking up with him and got the scoop.
Has anything gone into the Ancheaux’s location yet?
11VladimirUlianov
on Sep 1, 2010 at 11:34 am:
Personally, I thought that both Ancheaux’s and Moe’s sucked major donkey balls. Why the fuck anyone would ever eat at those places when you could go to Super Taco and get a real burrito made by people of the nationality that invented that motherfuckinglydelicious foodstuff, I’ll never understand.
Moe’s did at least have one saving grace as Willy Mac noted: beer. Without that, their fare was complete bullshit. Yeah, yeah, i know, their burritos are huge. But so is Oprah’s ass, and you won’t catch me eating that shit either.
Super Taco is the only shining spot of excellence from my Clemson days that still remains unspoiled. Please, for the love of Jebus, don’t let that ever change!
12Daniel
on Sep 1, 2010 at 11:47 am:
I agree that Clemson needs some more bars. The atmosphere in the ones we have is great, but I would love to see somewhere that has live music (and not some guy in boat shoes and coakies butchering Dave Matthews songs). Also, I know Esso has bands but nowhere really ‘downtown’ does, or at least they didn’t when I was a student there.
13mullet
on Sep 1, 2010 at 12:24 pm:
Glenn Beck at Littlejohn isn’t nearly as unbearable as an indoctrinated,uninformed,or apathetic citizen using his sports blog as a platform to take cheap shots at people that genuinely care about our country and the state it is in.
14Chili
on Sep 1, 2010 at 12:37 pm:
@13 hilarious
15A770Tiger
on Sep 1, 2010 at 12:45 pm:
I’ll keep it simple:
1. Liked Ancheaux’s–never ate a burrito there though.
2. Could give two shits about Moes one way or the other.
3. Like Beck’s message, but he’s irritating as shit and that hurts his credibility.
4. Freedom of speech and his blog, so Chilli has the right to cut on whoever–and normally does a fine-ass job of it.
GO TIGERS!!!
16mullet
on Sep 1, 2010 at 2:10 pm:
Wasn’t trying to be funny Van Wilder.Maybe when you finally get out in the work world and quit living off mama and daddy’s dime at school politics will become more serious to you.Of course by then we’ll all be working in sweat shops for the “greater good” and the “green movement”.Have a nice day commie;and yes,GO TIGERS!
17Chili
on Sep 1, 2010 at 2:19 pm:
@16 Please, more of this!
18Willy Mac
on Sep 1, 2010 at 2:49 pm:
@16 & 17 – *stuffs oversized handful of popcorn in mouth. scoots to edge of chair. hunches over. squints*
19The Rob Spence Travelling Bubble Screen Experience
on Sep 1, 2010 at 3:11 pm:
My wife got accepted last year and I did this January, so things you post about the town of Clemson are finally relevant to me! Hooray!
Hearing about all this, it fuels my fear that everything’s closing. We wanted Mexican for dinner one night, but as we pass by El Charro, we the see the entire plaza appears to be vacant and for lease. (I love El Jimador, but when it’s hopping there, parking is an absolute bitch.) Another afternoon, we kick around the idea of picking up some chicken shwarma from Clemson Kebab, only to see that they’re gone. I know it happens, but one of the things I like about the town is the fact that there’s more than just chains to choose from, and I’d hate to see that disappear.
Given the testimonials here, though, we’ll have to try Supertaco soon.
20AParker
on Sep 1, 2010 at 3:36 pm:
@19 Go o Supertaco now. Also go to Sardi’s Den! Best ribs in town. Other restraunts worth trying: Paws Diner off of 123, Just More BBQ in Pendelton, The Pendelton White House in Historic Downtown Pendelton, Todaro’s Pizza downtown Celmson, and Peppino’s Pizza in Downtown Clemson
@16 Please tell me more!
21Riggs
on Sep 1, 2010 at 3:51 pm:
@16 Let me tell YOU something about the REAL world, Mullet (if that is your real name) – if she smokes, she strokes.
You can take that to the bank every time . . . it’s like investing in gold.
22Jon
on Sep 1, 2010 at 7:17 pm:
Super Taco owns and is easily the best food in Clemson.
Ancheaux’s, by the time I got to Clemson, 2006, was dog shit and should have closed years ago. It was the shit stain in the glorious day that was the Gtech Gameday.
Clemson bars were ok, although getting drunk at someones apartment/house was by far the best choice. Special place in my heart during my Clemson time for a shithole in Berkely (and later UV) and a surprisingly nice place in Woodlands that I called home for a few months.
Glen Beck is a great example for what is wrong with politics and society in general.
WHY DID I GRADUATE EARLY? Why didn’t I take 6+ years like most my friends.
23Daniel
on Sep 1, 2010 at 11:10 pm:
Yeah, big mistake in graduating early. Never try to cram 4 years into anything less thaan 5.
Love it that Glenn Beck recently lead a big rally about ethics or some crap with Sarah Palin…nothing says “good ol’ fashioned values” like a credential-less former pothead and the world’s most famous baby’s momma’s momma. Fuck talking heads anyway, and that goes for those on the left too.
24Braap
on Sep 1, 2010 at 11:30 pm:
Toward the end it got to where Ancheaux’s was only open when the owner guy felt like it. I would’ve eaten there more often if the damn place wasn’t always in a random state of open/closedness. Post some hours and stick to them. FUCK!
@6,8: Sorry, but Qdoba is the best burrito chain. Not sure if there is one in the upstate though.
@19, you know what used to be in the Clemson Kebab location? Beezer’s. Yeah. That place is at the top of the list of places that closed but would’ve blown these naive freshmen’s minds.
25Chili
on Sep 2, 2010 at 3:03 am:
@24 Beezers was just okay. I still think Clemson needs a late night street food cart.
26AParker
on Sep 2, 2010 at 6:46 am:
@25, if your talking about Dank Dog, I fully believe that should return. There was nothing better than getting real shitty, and leaving TTT and walking across the street to pick up an absolutely covered dog, shaking the hand of a cop, and then gettting in your car to pass out in front of sikes.
27chris simp
on Sep 2, 2010 at 11:37 am:
@13 You take life way too seriously…
28mullet
on Sep 2, 2010 at 1:39 pm:
@21,I already knew that.@22,have you even bothered to listen to Beck or just his critics? @23,I’m not a Palin fan either but why should Glenn’s past discredit him? Nobody is perfect,but his message is true
29Clemsontide
on Sep 2, 2010 at 4:33 pm:
@19 Clemson Kebab was good. Too bad it closed I bet the fact that there was no seating in there played a part.
@24 The Blackjack was great, one of my favorite foods at Clemson but the owner always seemed pissed off and yeah my friends and I would go there at a regular time and they’d either be closed or out of food or something. He was a jackass. I once saw the owner fire a waiter/cashier right in front of everybody, that was uncomfortable. Maybe it was less to do with Moe’s moving in and more to do with him just not wanting to do it anymore.
30ketelonelogic
on Sep 2, 2010 at 4:41 pm:
Seven years impressive – Mr. Blutarsky. You will change your tune once you start paying real taxes.
31Chili
on Sep 3, 2010 at 7:13 am:
I like how you guys are just assuming it’s seven years straight through, I took no time off, that I’m not here getting a masters now, and that my mommy and daddy are paying for it.
32ketelonelogic
on Sep 3, 2010 at 8:47 am:
Wow I meant Dr. Blutarsky – sensative aren’t we.
33Chili
on Sep 3, 2010 at 8:48 am:
@32 GRADUATE ASSISTANT BLUTARSKY YOU ASSHOLE.
34ketelonelogic
on Sep 3, 2010 at 12:40 pm:
My apologies to you Graduate Assistant Blutarsky. Might I inquire what you are getting your Master’s in?
35Chili
on Sep 3, 2010 at 8:43 pm:
@34 Shitty blogging. I’m teaching the course.
36ketelonelogic
on Sep 3, 2010 at 9:11 pm:
Thank god ! I was hoping you weren”t another MBA douche bag I have dealt with in my last 30 years since escaping Clemson. If you ever are in the ATL please let me know. I have a never ending supply of beer – 2 taps – 1554 and a light – either Coors or Yuengling Lager and every Bourbon worth drinking. I enjoy your blog and I appreciate your humor even for an old fart.
37FLOCKA
on Sep 3, 2010 at 10:35 pm:
Ancheaux’s fucking ruled. You haters can suck a fat greasy dick with bacon (and avocado?). The guy who ran Dank Dogs was a Phi Delt, I think he graduated in ’07 or ’08. That was some glorious drunk food.
Beezer’s closed after my sophomore year, but I have many memories of ordering sandwiches from there after stumbling back to campus at 3am freshman year. Pretty sure I singlehandedly kept them in business that year. It doesn’t matter how shitty the food is, a place that’s open until 4am all week, delivers to campus, and accepts best buy giftcards as payment (true fucking story) is fine by me.
To add to the list of excellent places to eat in Clemson, you really can’t leave Monterrey and Columbos off of the list. I lived on Gregory street one year and it was so perfect, walk to Columbos and drink and eat pizza (for a total of maybe $6), stumble back to the house and stop at the motherfucking PLEZ-U (they changed the name to something gay a while back but it’s still the PLEZ-U) to pick up more booze on the way home.
38FLOCKA
on Sep 3, 2010 at 11:06 pm:
Oh yeah, and I parked in (what I think was) President Barker’s spot for a day and a half once Freshman year because I drove from East campus to drink at Johnstone and walked back to Lightsey Bridge after a disastrous power hour. Didn’t realize I had left my truck over by the Trustee house until I was walking from Sirrine to Harcombe the next day and found it, along with 3 or 4 tickets.
Another time, I managed to accumulate EIGHT tickets while PARKED IN FRONT OF MY OWN APARTMENT because parking services sent me the wrong colored sticker. I had to pay them, there is no winning.