Daniel on 
Sambo on 
Chili on 
Willy Mac on 
Beau on Dear Sakerlina fans,
Congratulations on the win on Saturday. Twenty-seven consecutive wins to go and you will be on equal footing with Clemson in the rivalry. But considering the last time your team won back-to-back games against Clemson was ’69 and ’70, so the odds of a win streak of the magnitude of twenty-seven actually happening are slim. Also, stop with the SEC is so superior to the ACC, because the last time I checked, Clemson was in the ACC the last 13 years when they beat Sakerlina ten times. So, beating your big brother one time doesn’t mean he is not going to give you a Wet Willy the next time he sees you.
Also, I found it funny that Clemson dropped out of the Coach’s Poll despite all of the other upsets behind them, but then I thought about it. The only reason they would actually drop out of the polls is because pollsters saw Clemson lose (or looked ahead to a Championship game this weekend, something you Sakerlina fans can’t even spell) to a crappy team like yours and decided they shouldn’t be a Top 25 team, which suits me fine. They don’t deserve to be ranked after that performance, but all can be made up for with a win this weekend, meanwhile you Sakerlina fans will be sitting at home watching Clemson play (and pulling for GT).
And have you heard the good news, Sakerlina fans? Bobby Bowden retired. So when Spurrier steps down, you have another past his prime Hall of Fame coach available for your head coaching position. And we all know that hires like that are your bread and butter as of late, so you must be pretty excited. I know I am.
In conclusion Sakerlina fans, your team won (and not your conference, so stop chanting “SEC! SEC! SEC!” after the game) and you get the right to rub it in our faces this year, but please act like you’ve actually won this game before, you’re embarrassing yourself.
Somewhat Sincerely,
Sambo
I thought I should just get that off my chest, because those Sakerlina fans needed to have their win put into a proper perspective. As for my picks last week, Yikes! But after looking at the standings in the Mac Cup, I saw that everyone did terrible. I went 6-11 in my Mac Cup picks and didn’t drop in the standings, nor lost any ground on the leader. That makes me feel a little better, but then I thought about the Clemson/SC game and got depressed again. Also, since this is the last weekend of college football (I know, I’m sad about it too), this will be the last time you hear from me, unless I come out with a Super Special Bowl Edition of the Weekly Picks of the Week. So, if that doesn’t happen (which I will work on), then see you next year. And with that, on with the fun of gambling:
(Pick in Bold. Lines from Bodog.com. Rankings based on BCS Standings)
(Unofficial) PAC-10 Championship
#16 Oregon State Beavers @ #7 Oregon Ducks (-10)
9:00 (Thursday)
-After doing a little research, I found out that the State of Oregon has some really strange laws:
- It is illegal to use canned corn as fish bait.
- In Myrtle Creek, OR, it is illegal to box a kangaroo.
- It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your property.
- In Beaverton, OR, you are required to buy a $10 permit before installing a burglar alarm.
- Up until the 1970s, it was illegal to show movies or attend car races on Sundays.
- In Marion, OR, ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before giving a sermon.
- In Portland, it is illegal to whistle underwater.
Now, some of those laws make some sort of sense except the no whistling underwater law. How did that even come about? In what possible scenario did a person whistling underwater create a cause for a law to be made? The more I think about it, the more my brain hurts.
(Unofficial) Big East Championship
#5 Cincinnati Bearcats (-2) @ #15 Pittsburgh Panthers
12:00
It’s the Coin Flip,
Flipping for the Coin Flip, Game
Come on and sing it with me
(Coin Flip)
Sing it with feelin’ ya’ll
(Coin Flip, Game)
Ooh!
-Don’t really care about this game, so it is the Coin Flip Game. The Flip came up Bearcats.
SEC Championship
#1 Florida Gators v. #2 Alabama Crimson Tide (+6)
4:00
-According to the Heisman Trophy’s website, the award goes to “an individual who deserves designation as the most outstanding college football player in the United States”. Then how in the hell did Eric Crouch, Jason White, or Troy Smith win it? The answer is because the Heisman is now awarded to the best QB or RB on a national contending team and not for its original purpose anymore. Which brings me to my next point. Now, I will admit that Tim Tegod is a great player and definitely deserved to win the trophy in 2007, but if he is even invited to the ceremony this year, that trophy should no longer be considered the “Most Prestigious Award in College Football”. There are easily ten players who deserve it over him this season (McCoy, Suh, Gerhart, Ingram, Spiller, Tate, etc). It is supposed to be awarded to the player with the best season and not career, but because ESPN is the sports media center of the world, and because they are such massive SEC homers, Tegod’s name is splashed around like an F-bomb in Pulp Fiction and everyone now has it ingrained into their minds that he is the best player in the universe. And for this reason, the Heisman Trophy is becoming more and more of joke. That and because George Rogers is allowed to wear eye-impairing suits to the ceremony.
Big 12 Championship
#3 Texas Longhorns v. #22 Nebraska Cornhuskers (+14)
8:00
-Last week, while my brother and I were watching the Colorado v. Nebraska game, he asked me, “Why are those two teams playing each other during rivalry week (turns out that they are not even rivals anyways)? Is Nebraska even anywhere near Colorado?” This, of course, prompted me to look it up and it turns out that the two states border each other. This made me realize that if you put a blank map of the US in front of me and told me to list every state, I honestly don’t think I could name more than half of the states in the Midwest. The East Coast, West Coast, and anything in the South, I could do with no problems, but the Midwest is nothing but a jumble of similar looking states to me. Hell, it even surprised me when I was looking at the map and saw that Arkansas sits directly above Louisiana. But then again, I lived in France during the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades (it was for my dad’s job and not because I was abducted and forced to live there, aka, the only two reasons someone would willingly live in France), so hopefully, that was when I was supposed to learn US Geography and I’m not just retarded. But if you need to know where Luxemburg or Andorra are located on a map, I’m the man to call.
ACC Championship
#10 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets v. Clemson Tigers (+1)
8:00
-After reading and watching all about the whole Bobby Bowden retirement, I saw that it’s being quoted that ol’ Bobby is requesting that his final bowl game be played in the state of Florida. Can he do that? Isn’t there an ACC rule against conference teams two games behind another team in the standings not being able to jump that team in the bowl picking process? Yes, there is just such a rule in place, but apparently, the ACC is going to ignore that rule this year to allow ol’ Bobby’s request. So that is going to really screw some teams in terms of what bowl they are going to attend. Specifically, whoever loses the ACCCG is going to get hosed, so that a 6-6 FSU team can play in Florida. So that means that if Clemson wins and they go to a BCS game, lose and they probably fall to the Music City Bowl. Not that I don’t think what Bobby did in his FSU career wasn’t remarkable, but why honor a guy who has to plead to play in a better bowl game then his team currently deserves? A better way to honor him would be to erect (hehe) a statue of him out in front of the stadium that they should also name after him. Wait, what? They’ve already done both of those things? Well, then the last thing they should do is name the mascot after him. The Florida State Gaddum Seminoles.
Last Week’s Record: 3-8
Season Total: 20-25-3
Lock of the Week Record: 2-2
1mullet
on Dec 3, 2009 at 9:54 am:
Nice letter;couldn’t have said it any better but arguing with them is like arguing with a brick wall. One of my favorite stats to throw at them is the fact that Wake Forest has more championships in their history (1970 & 2006)than what the yardbuzzards have.(1969) I do think CU rebounds this week but I think it will be closer than I originally predicted because I see the potential for a 1st quarter hangover. I’m going CU 30-21. The Bobby Bowden thing is a joke but it will happen because unfortunately that is the PC world we live in. Honestly though,if CU loses again Saturday,it would suit me if we refused a bowl bid at all because that would remove any doubt that we were just satisfied with winning our pathetic division.
2Cockier than You
on Dec 3, 2009 at 10:47 am:
a fucking joke. oh really? if you beat us “every year” big brother, then what the fuck to you have to celebrate year in & year out?? I don’t see you getting all riled up over being Duke “almsot every year”. More wins, less class. As usual. it’s a rivalry game.
And ask anyone in America who the best conference in college football is, you dumbass. that’s why a second-teir (yes, we know that about ourselves – we’re not dilusional pricks like yall) can beat both teams playing for the ACC championship game. Look at the record overall of SEC to ACC – just bc your top teir teams can sometimes beat our middle of the road teams in a RIVALRY game, doesn’t have shit to do with whose conference is better. Clemson fans especially are just too stupid to understand that. We’re not saying “we’re better bc we’re in a better conference” – but facts are facts. The SEC is eons better than the ACC. Stick to basketball. Oh wait- nice loss to Illinois last night! Bwaa haa haa!!
3Willy Mac
on Dec 3, 2009 at 11:00 am:
@2 – Have fun at the EmeraldNuts.com bowl or where ever the fuck you get lucky enough to get a bid from. You fucking bigots in Columbia should love a bowl in San Fran.
4Chili
on Dec 3, 2009 at 11:34 am:
“The SEC is eons better than the ACC”
Eons is a measure of time you dumb motherfucker.
5WillyD
on Dec 3, 2009 at 11:46 am:
@2 Guess why people consider the SEC the best conference in the land- it’s because Florida and Bama are good teams you dumb ass. No one sits around thinking, man I sure am glad my team isn’t in the SEC so I don’t have to run through that Vanderbilt, Kentucky, South Carolina gauntlet every year. By the way, the mighty SEC has the same number of ranked teams as the Mountain West right now, 3. The Pac-10 has 5 ranked teams, despite having to play a round-robin schedule that gives every team the opportunity to beat up on each other, unlike the SEC where the two best teams were able to avoid each other all year long. The SEC’s dirty little secret the past two years has been that it’s a top heavy conference where Florida and Bama carry the banner for a conference filled with a bunch of mediocre 5 loss teams like Tennessee, who lost to UCLA; or Georgia, who got raped by Oklahoma State. You want to know what last week proved, it proved that upsets happen (see Clemson-Maryland) especially in rivalry games. But at the end of the day, you are what your record says your are, so I would stop trying to make this about broader implications, because Clemson has clearly had the more successful season, and focus on the one thing that matters and that works in your favor, the score of this year’s game. That’s all you have to do, is just say that you won this year, and that’s all that matters.
@3 Sadly, the EmeraldNuts bowl is actually an ACC tie-in. Miami played Cal in it last year.
Clemson basketball, wtf.
6thedabokoolaid
on Dec 3, 2009 at 11:59 am:
@4 LOL! priceless. @2 Next time you have a thought, it’s probably best that you just stab it to death to put it out of it’s misery. just sayin. Oh! and Sambo, that letter was freakin AWESOME!
7flaact
on Dec 3, 2009 at 12:06 pm:
@2 this has to be the failpost of the year.
There is no doubt you guys beat us this year. Good job. Enjoy it, it doesn’t happen that often.
But talking shit through the fact pattern “USC beat Clemson, USC = SEC, SEC > ACC therefore USC > ALL ACC HAHAHA” is so fucking retarded and homerish that it’s pathetic.
There is no doubt in the eyes of Clemson fans that right now Florida and Alabama are great teams and would kick the crap out of us too. Top to bottom the SEC is better than the ACC. Everyone knows that. I don’t understand the sense of pride Carloina fans get because of that… you guys get railed in the ass every year, then brag about it. Am I missing something here? You guys had your chance to dominate the ACC, and you won the conference one time. So stfu, enjoy your win, and get ready for Clemson to demolish you in 7 of the next ten games.
8JamesWho?
on Dec 3, 2009 at 12:27 pm:
@2
That would be top tier, not teir.
Delusional, not dilusional.
” I don’t see you getting all riled up over being Duke “almsot every year”. More wins, less class. As usual. it’s a rivalry game. ”
I can’t even begin to correct the misuse of words, almsot instead of almost, and the remaining nonsense vomited throughout your comment.
Maybe if Sakerlina spent more time on spelling and less time on refining the theory of “getting gangbanged by the baddest gang is better than being top dog in a moderately bad-ass gang”, we wouldn’t have to put up with such idiocy.
So, while you spend your time in an attempt to show us pricks how we should not think we are better than you, you are actually proving all of our points. Now, go home and join in a congralutory circle jerk with the rest of the queers that think wearing a hat that says “Cocks” is hilarious and bad-ass.
9Takeezy
on Dec 3, 2009 at 12:31 pm:
so by his logic, ACC is better than the SEC 65 out of 107 years then? amirite?
10Clemsontaco
on Dec 3, 2009 at 12:50 pm:
I’m just throwing this out there for everyone. You ever notice how USC fans are mainly the only ones who throw out the SEC is better argument. I know there are a few from every team that use if, but for the most part you don’t hear Fla. or Bama fans saying that too much. USC fans just have to come up with some way to defend their mediocrity (that means level of suck USC fans). I think everyone agrees that the SEC is a good conference, but it mostly rests on the reputation of Fla., Bama, and Georgia/UT/LSU of years past. Not on teams like Vandy, Kentucky, and USC. And the ACC’s rep falls on the shoulders of Duke, Maryland, and Wake Forest for some reason. And it’ll stay that way until ESPN is no longer in bed with the SEC. USC fans, instead of making excuses for how bad your team is, and instead of only having flashes of greatness, just get better.
11Chili
on Dec 3, 2009 at 1:58 pm:
Whenever Team USA wins an Olympic event I chant NORTH A-MER-ICA! NORTH A-MER-ICA! NORTH A-MER-ICA! at the top of my lungs.
12Sambo
on Dec 3, 2009 at 2:37 pm:
#2 – At no point in my letter to you guys, did I say that the ACC is better than the SEC, I just said that the SEC is not “far superior” to the ACC. However, I did say that you guys can’t spell, so thank you for proving that point.
13Willy Mac
on Dec 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm:
Anybody else notice that since Sam started picking that he’s been doing horrendously? He’s like the new QCB.
14dwight_clark87
on Dec 3, 2009 at 3:07 pm:
@2 -This is a prime example of my new favorite phrase: “douche-bagery.”
15CUin1993
on Dec 3, 2009 at 3:15 pm:
Who invited the asswipe @2 to the party?
16thedabokoolaid
on Dec 3, 2009 at 3:23 pm:
@15 he’s homeless. just kinda stumbled in, happens from time to time. give him a quarter and he will leave.
17JasonL
on Dec 3, 2009 at 3:26 pm:
Hey guys, sorry. One of my pubic hairs got loose and did some stupid shit. He calls himself “Cockier the You.” It’s mainly a reference to my cock. Anyway, he got drunk last night and wandered off. Apparently he decided to write something really stupid on here.
I apologize. Next time I’ll keep him in my pants.
Again, I am really really sorry.
18JamesWho?
on Dec 3, 2009 at 3:54 pm:
I think he was just refining his application to go USC.
Don’t worry cockier, it was good enough when displayed that you could write, don’t worry about putting together coherent thoughts, not unless you would like a scholarship. Best of luck.
19Sambo
on Dec 3, 2009 at 4:29 pm:
Horribly better than your picks, Willy Mac. BURN!!!!
20Navy Chief
on Dec 3, 2009 at 4:31 pm:
Last year when Clemson ass raped SCAR and GT beat UGA did anyone say its because the ACC is better than the SEC? The bottom line is that both SCAR (as usual) and UGA had shitty teams and played both games like it was the National Championship because it was the only thing they could accomplish this year. In fact both coaches are getting a little desperate and really needed these wins for job security. Spurrier allot more so than Richt.
If I were you I would be a little concerned right now because supposedly Ellis Johnson is 2nd behind Kirby Smart for their vacated DC position and their Athletic Director has said point blank money is no object. I am sure that Johnson is getting tired of carrying Spurrier’s washed up ass every year to 6 or 7 wins and Smart is prolly not an option. I am also sure that he has realized that SCAR will always finish 6th or worse in the SEC every year and I doubt beating Clemson every 4 or 5 years will make a difference.
21Daniel
on Dec 3, 2009 at 5:26 pm:
I think it’s cyclical. The SEC has had a really good run lately, but if you go back to the early part of the decade the final top 25 for 2000 had 3 current ACC teams in the top 10 (FSU, Miami and VT). The highest ranked SEC team was Florida, which was 10th. The ACC has no marquee teams right now. Outside of Florida and Alabama the remaining SEC is only slightly better than the ACC, if at all. It will be interesting to see what happens in the next few years. Florida will lose Tebow after this year and it looks like they will lose Charlie Strong to Louisville. That will be Meyer’s offensive and defensive coordinator that have gone on to head coaching gigs in consecutive years. They could be coming back to earth sooner than later. Neither UGA nor UT were very good this year, so it’ll be interesting to see how they do next season. Mallet will probably leave Arkansas for the NFL and Bama will have to break in another new QB next season as well as losing Mount Cody and Rolando McClain. Personally I think the Pac-10 has been the best conference top-to-bottom this year followed by the SEC.
22The Travelling Rob Spence Bubble Screen Experience
on Dec 3, 2009 at 10:56 pm:
Gamecocks just chant “SEC! SEC!” because they don’t actually have a team of their own to be proud of.