A friend asked me recently, “Where’s Peter Lalich been lately?” I responded, “I guess he finally just went away. He hasn’t said anything staggeringly retarded lately.” His recent activity shows that he’s only been saying mildly buffoonish things. Mostly misspelled Wale lyrics with grammatical errors sprinkled in for effect.

As you all know, Jimmy Clausen was recently club punched by an irate Irish fan who had finally had enough. Sure as rain, when you mention something it comes to fruition. Nugget of Lalich wisdom meandered it’s way through the internet like a big ugly monster, hungry for more dumb idiots to feed off of, making it stronger… stupider. Here is his immediate reaction to the situation:

A few things here:

- I love how there was that one time you tried to call us on calling you on something and you told us we sucked for calling you an idiot. The best part is, you never stopped being a moron. Then you called us, and we called… uh… that sentence didn’t come out right. I, uh… have to… go return some video tapes…

- Yes, the media would do that because as opposed to Mr. Clausen, you already have a history of being a dumb goon.

- I don’t think you’d fit in well at a biker bar. Maybe there was a hidden context joke layered in there… I hope your target audience got it because the rest of us don’t.

- Who’s to say you and Vick wouldn’t try that? You’re both two pot head idiots with a history of doing dumb bullshet. Shet. Shetland dogs. Fighting? Michael Vick is fighting Shetlands now? Another hidden message, Mr. Lalich? You see folks, his appearance may be that of a yellow eyed dope, but he’s actually a CIA operative and these are code words for his handler. Facebook makes international espionage so easy these days.

- I can’t believe someone actually clicked the “Like” button.

- Nice try, Andrew. Actually no, no that try was absolute dogshet.