Ladies and gentlemen, they may not be winners on the field, but dammit they’re winners at Q&A. From Old Virginia brings us quite possibly the best responses to any “Know Your…” segment that we’ve done this year. We took some pretty damn good shots at them and they kept pace with us pretty well. Check out our answers here.

1) Be honest with us, is there a chance that you guys beat us this weekend and ruin everything? If so, what has to happen, realistically, for this to happen?

Slim, and if it happens, it’d look a lot like last week’s game against BC.  Our only hope to win football games these days is to get big plays from the defense and special teams.  As in, those units actually have to do the scoring themselves.  Clemson’s offense is respectable but not overpowering, which is our only saving grace.

2) Would things be all that different if Peter Lalich had managed to stick around? Does it bother you that Peter was clearly “too cool” for your “school?”

It bothers me that some people are too stupid to realize what they have going for them and place a higher priority on a stupid herb or a drink than on the opportunity they have on their plate.  But quarterbacks can’t do anything when their receivers aren’t open and their blockers can’t block.  Peyton Manning couldn’t move this offense.  I’ll concede it’s possible we’d be 4-6 right now instead of 3-7, woo to that?

3) What type of animal is Al Groh’s power animal. Describe it in detail and why it is a source of power and inspiration to Groh.

Al Groh draws inspiration from the badger.  The badger is resolute and unswerving.  He is trustworthy.  Some would say inordinately stubborn.  The badger is described in various works of classical literature as one who “simply hates society” and “doesn’t change.”  But in such works, the badger is never a villain.  He is loyal and values loyalty in others.  The badger is hardworking and protective, and occasionally territorial and will snap at other creatures such as pesky sideline reporters who enter their territory and attempt to eat their young.  Specifically, Groh is of the badger subspecies known as T. jeffersoni.

4) With Al Groh’s almost certain departure, what can we assume about the future of the Charlottesville Frumpy Sweatshirt Emporium?

They’ll be OK.  Al hasn’t actually bought a new sweatshirt in five years.  And they can always lobby for the hiring of Danny Rocco or Jim Grobe.

5) Have you guys ever thought of quitting? No I mean, overall. Like, have you guys ever thought of shutting the team down and just giving your soccer team a really awesome stadium? ECU would be a good addition to the ACC for football, what do you think?

We do like to think our expectations are higher than at, say, UNC, which sometimes seems to think football is a sideshow to women’s soccer.  Besides, we just beat ECU last year.