mogrits on 
AParker on 
Willy Mac on Who the hell are these Clemson fans that seem to think that Death Valley isn’t a loud enough, wild enough atmosphere as it is? Look, I’m a staunch traditionalist who loathes the woo hoo (if you do it then get the fuck off our blog) and shudders every time Zombie Nation is played in this lame piggybacking of every northern school with a need to force emotion into their fanbase by playing that shitty eurotrash. I don’t think we need a damned thing the add to the mix. Not one-off gimmick uniforms (yeah yeah purple), not white-outs, not silent-outs, not shitty thunder sticks, not interlocked arms.
Oh have you heard of the silent-out? It’s when the entire stadium is supposed to remain silent until the cannon goes off and the Tigers spring down the hill. Then the sudden cacophony of Tiger voices will shock the visiting team into submission as they will yelp, roll over, and immediately present their soft underbellies to the now dominant Tigers. Seriously. It’s science.
Memorial Stadium is damned fine just how it is. Show up, wear orange, and scream until your throat bleeds.
On to the Dumb Shit, the first ones dealing with the hysterical takes Tigernetters have on possible options to replace the silent-out.
Rip Out… shortly followed by nose scrunching, uncomfortable squirming, and a slow waddle to the restroom to start sittin on tha toilet.
Seriously this guy can’t achieve orgasm unless he’s engaged in sex acts that require tarps to be laid down in advance. That was a joke about a man enjoying watersports. Watersports is when someone pisses on another person or is pissed on by another person for sexual gratification. That’s the joke.
Yes, the greatest think since slided bread. The greatest thing since Edison invented the light barb.
Continuing with the theme of unifying ONE CLEMSON SOLID ORANGE under a banner of bodily fluids is this suggestion for a Puke Out. Beaten to the punch by Stand By Me, of course. “I’m gonna eat a sackful of circus peanuts and wash em down with some Slice to make sure my vomit is SOLID ORANGE! SOLID WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF”
I’m not sure what it says about Clemson fans that you must genuflect and praise the troops and America before simply mentioning that you’d rather not wear camo to the game, but it’s a little odd. Additionally, this guy is a perfect example of the kind of morons on Tigernet; the kind who would actually believe Clemson would do a camo-out. Shit, at least on such short notice, give a man time to get to Bass Pro Shops and back.
This only happens at UVA games, sir.
This guy is stepping up and apologizing for his role in the silent-out hullabaloo, which is good. The dumb shit part comes in to play when he somehow thinks that his douchey, overenthusiastic pleadings for a silent-out could possibly DIVIDE THE TIGER NATION. Tigernet represents a small, enthusiastic, and easily confused portion of our fan base, yet they think the world of Clemson fandom is a fishbowl and they’re the big fat coy flippidy flopping about the water. Mmmm… Tigernet self importance.
Cadence Count done correctly: yes, absolutely. The “Mike Guy” I guess means the mic guy and if he’s referring to one of the male cheerleaders yelling into an amplified microphone attempting to fire up the crowd, then no. That guy was fucking annoying. Don’t scream at me, guy who’s hands smell like boodissy after games, I know how to cheer. Balloon Release? C’mon. We’ve all seen the record setting attempts from the 80s, but I don’t think anyone past age 8 should be excited about baloons. Tiger Rags? Not exactly a lost tradition right there.
All the _____-Outs are retarded. Even the lock arms thing. I like Dabo but damned if he doesn’t love a slogan and a gimmick. ALL IN GET YOUR AXE AND START CHOPPIN HURF A DURF.
On to other Dumb Shit. We all love the “foul on Booker” joke that’s been beaten to death, and we’re all just thrilled to have it back for basketball season.
~fin
1Daniel
on Nov 5, 2009 at 11:50 am:
I absolutely love the ALL CAPS mea culpa regarding diving the “TIGER NATION”. This guy really thinks he has crazy power. Also, to the guy promoting the “puke out”; I can’t imagine something unintelligent coming from “dirkdiggler69″.
2zombiejohnccalhoun
on Nov 5, 2009 at 11:54 am:
I say that, on the microphone guy’s amplified command, we all piss, puke, and fart on TNetters and then pelt them with newspapers while wearing solid orange camo, while zombie nation plays at 130 dB to the release of 69,000 balloons.
Foul on Booker.
3thedabokoolaid
on Nov 5, 2009 at 11:57 am:
OUT DAY?! LMAO! nice commentary on that one chili. @1 he is our king! @2 amen! im all in on that
4mullet
on Nov 5, 2009 at 1:05 pm:
Dude, you are so on the $$$$ with this rant! AMEN and preach on brutha!
5AParker
on Nov 5, 2009 at 1:30 pm:
I still like the urple unis. I heard they were going to do urple helmets once too. And I’m still all in for the nutrional school to develop something that makes our players urple and smell urple. It would be one amazing day as long as their weren’t any life long urple effects.
6Lawtonfunk
on Nov 5, 2009 at 1:37 pm:
“Tigernet represents a small, enthusiastic, and easily confused portion of our fan base .”
Quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve read this year. I’m sure you weren’t even trying to be funny here. You were just stating a fact, but damnit, son. That’s awesome. Just read it again:
Tigernet represents a small, enthusiastic, and easily confused portion of our fan base.
This is how I will explain T-netters from now on.
7zombiejohnccalhoun
on Nov 5, 2009 at 1:38 pm:
I’ll take “Colors that End in –urple” for $200, Alex.
8Reed
on Nov 5, 2009 at 1:42 pm:
There’s a lot that Clemson can do to improve the football program. But asking people to cheer more loudly is not required. It’s already one of the loudest stadiums in the world.
9Takeezy
on Nov 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm:
@2 thats the best comment i’ve heard all day except for one of the girls in my Inorganic Chemistry class proclaiming “I BAKED BROWNIES FOR THE CLASS!” right in the middle of lecture
10Aaron Neville's Pet Tick
on Nov 5, 2009 at 2:55 pm:
As much as this pains me to say, but that silent thing would kick some serious ass, but only if it was right until the players came through the gate.
/tigernetting
Fuck the colors and gimmicks shit.
11Aaron Neville's Pet Tick
on Nov 5, 2009 at 2:56 pm:
Also, if we bring anything back from the glory days, let it be “Great taste” “less filling” that’d be braaaaaahhhhhhhhsome.
12dwight_clark87
on Nov 5, 2009 at 4:02 pm:
I heartily endorse a BOOB-OUT. That’s right, ladies, come to the game and show everyone your knockers. Not only will it promote breast cancer awareness by making people aware of breasts, it will also result in lots of hot chicks taking off their tops and showing off their cans. This is one of the few situations in world history where everyone would be a winner.
Regarding the color of uniforms: Clemson should have white pants and orange jerseys at home, white pants and white jerseys away and orange pants and orange jerseys for special games. That’s it. No purple anything unless it’s consuming purple passion in the parking lot before the game.
13Willy Mac
on Nov 5, 2009 at 4:15 pm:
I don’t care if we come out in doo-doo brown helmets and neon pink jerseys, just so long as we win the damned game.
14Lawtonfunk
on Nov 5, 2009 at 4:17 pm:
@12 I really think you’re on to something. I like the part about the boobs.
15Takeezy
on Nov 5, 2009 at 4:39 pm:
BEWWWWWWWWBSSSSS
16Love Truncheon
on Nov 5, 2009 at 6:16 pm:
Here’s a great gimmick…just prior to entering the stadium everybody can funnel some powdered ferret scat into their peeholes with a wormword didgiridoo. We’ll cut each other’s hair, write bible verses on our ass cheeks with mustard…the general zany antics that ensue when you get some opiate-infused animal turds down in your junk hole.
This is probably my favorite DSOT ever. Screw all these forced gimmicks. Holler when Clemson does good, boo when the refs blow a call blah blah.
17mflynn00
on Nov 5, 2009 at 6:47 pm:
4 more years of “foul on booker!” awesome
18chris simp
on Nov 6, 2009 at 7:24 am:
@12 I’m for it!!!! BOOB OUT!!!!!
19flaact
on Nov 6, 2009 at 8:02 am:
@12
This idea, is excellent. You should email it to TDP, just like all the tigernetters do and then post the response for kicks.
20Mogrits
on Nov 6, 2009 at 10:30 am:
Now they’ve decided Spiller needs to strike the Heisman pose:
http://www.tigernet.com/forums/thread.jspa?threadID=760200&tstart=0