This week, the babyface to our heel persona’s, From the Rumble Seat, is hosting the ACC Blogger Roundtable discussion. Again, as they come through the shoot we’ll link you to the rest of the bloggers around the league.

From Old Virginia | Testudo Times | College Game Balls | Gobbler Country
Jim Young, ACC Sports Journal | From the Rumble Seat | BCInterruption
Yet Another NCSU Blog | Joe Ovies | On the B.Rink

1. Alright fellas, this is your turn to apologize to the Boston College Eagles who went to Hell and back and have now arrived as the 3rd team for the ACC (and only team in the Atlantic) to be bowl eligible. You know you were snickering in the preseason. Also, give a high five to Mark Herzlich for finishing his last treatment of chemo.

Did you start out our post by jacking it? You just thread jacked our post. We’re not apologizing for shit. It’s not our fault that we fieldgoaled the Eagles to death. They haven’t gone to hell and back. They stink and it’s going to be horrifically evident as the season comes to a close. Even if they do go to a bowl game, they’re going to be sent to some terrible location with a ton of empty seats. That is, if the ACC doesn’t run out of bowls and they somehow secure an at-large bid. They don’t travel, they can’t play football, nobody likes them. There. We said it. Also, good jarb on beating cancer Mark, but the media has shoved it down our throats so much at this point that we kind of can’t stand to talk about it anymore. WE GET IT, you made a miraculous, one-in-a-million turnaround and have been an inspiration to teams and fans. MORE PEOPLE GETTING TACKLED, LESS MAKING US TEARY EYED.

2. An Orange Bowl victory over a Boise/ TCU or an Orange Bowl victory over a Penn State/ Cincy team – which means more for the conference? Is there even a difference?

A bowl victory over any of those teams would be a feather in the hat for Clemson at this point. Regardless, getting into a bowl game with anyone of those teams would please us. Right now though, it’d be awesome to have a second crack at TCU but we already know we could have beaten them. One would have to think that a win over Boise would have the most impact, though. They’ve been the BCS busters, the Cinderellas, and the under dogs for the entirety of recent history. Oh yeah, there’s that whole part where they have a bad ass team this year.

On the other hand, we’ll more than likely wind up with a Cincy/Penn State match up if we get to the Orange Bowl. Both are very good teams. Cincy is a very tough and good team but that wouldn’t get us much respect on the national level. They also seem a bit more beatable as they’ve only faced the 46th toughest schedule in the nation (a generous ranking). Then again, we seem to perform better when we don’t have enough respect from the rest of the nation. A win over Penn State any day for the Clemson program would be huge step for us. Yes, there’s that whole conference strength but in the end it’s a traditional and historic team and it would be a great to see the rematch from the 1987 Citrus Bowl rematch against the Nittany Lions.

A better match up would be if Notre Dame weaseled their undeserving asses into an at-large bid. We’d eat their lunch, puke it up, and make them eat it.

3. Enough with the CJ Spillers, the Christian Ponders, and the Jacory Harrises[sic?]. We wanna talk defense. Who is the defensive POTY thus far in the ACC?

That distinction isn’t leaving the upstate of South Carolina. Anyone that actually pays attention to the conference as an entirety will point to the man who’s tied the lead nationally for interceptions: Clemson’s very own DeAndre McDaniel. He’s got seven interceptions in eight games and even though he’s tied for first, the other guy doesn’t have the massive return yards and a touchdown to make him self stand taller on the stat sheet. You’re a damned fool if you think otherwise. A DAMNED FOOL.

4. Recently, Bird compared the Atlantic to the Big 12 North. Is this a fair comparison? The Coastal is currently 8-2 against the Atlantic. There are still 8 interdivision games left. Can the Atlantic redeem itself this season?

Let’s put it this way, the Coastal division will more than likely submit Georgia Tech as their challenger for the ACC Title. It doesn’t matter who the Atlantic submits (and no I’m not going to say us), your scheme has been around for too long this year and (but I will say this) chances are the team they face will have already played them once. A second chance at Georgia Tech is a blessing because it only takes once to get burnt by that offense. Mark it down: if Georgia Tech does go to the ACCCG and face a team they’ve already played, they will lose.

5. Tailgating is essential to all things football. In Atlanta, the tailgating game of choice is cornhole. What is your game of choice to pass the time?

You guys would play a game called “corn hole” on that male dominated campus of yours, wouldn’t you? (ZING!) Yeah, we’ve got drinking “games” too. Let’s run down a brief list of Clemson-depression themed “games”…

• Drink until you can’t feel feelings.
• Drink until it feels like your face is melting off.
• Hold onto the car door so I don’t fall into the sky because I’m so drunk.
• Do your insides hurt from drinking, too?
• Drink until your veins and heart hurt.
• How many mini bottles will fit into that toilet?
• Drink, fight, forgive (last one is optional)

6. Let’s cut to the chase. There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Sharks are winners and they don’t look back ’cause they don’t have necks. Necks are for sheep. Is your team full of sharks or is your team full of sheep?

Sharks? Sheep? What kind of metaphors are you using? Nice alliteration, but I’ve never heard of that. We’d say sharks, but that’s just because I grew up watching Street Sharks. And they had huge muscles. And they beat mother fuckers up. Plus we’re sure they were engineered some how in a lab so, yeah. Short answer is Defense = Sharks. Special Teams = Sharks. Offense = mixture of both, jury is still out. Woof, a Street Sharks reference in 2009 and a homerish statement. We’re drinking that new super secret batch of Clemson kool-aid that was made in someone’s basement.

7. Create a cocktail in the spirit of your school and explain it to us. Non-edible ingredients are allowed and encouraged.

This is a tail of two cocktails blogger friends. The first would be the Clemson cocktail of old; visualize if you will a tall, cool, frosty highball glass of delicious bourbon with a bit of water settled in over big lumpy rocks of ice. The amber grainy beverage reflects the sunlight of a perfect tailgating day. Looks amazing. You drink it down and as it slides down your gullet something isn’t quite right. The drink looked perfect, but man something just…. isn’t…………… riiiight..

*darkness*

- cut to night -

You awake confused, beaten, sort of uncomfortably damp. You reach up to your face and a tooth is missing. Also your pants are nowhere to be found. You just got Bowdened. Everything looked fucking fantastic until it wasn’t and then you maybe got raped.

Now there is a new kind of Clemson cocktail. Sticking with brown party liquor, it’s a humble plastic tumbler of Jack Daniels on ice with a little good ol Coca-Cola. Humble, and tries to be steady but with the capability of pain. A rusty nail is placed in the drank in lieu of a little umbrella, “COURTESY OF BROOKS & STEELE” is etched in tiny letters along the nail. I wanted to work in something corny here about CJ Spiller and Jacoby Ford-like speed but I couldn’t think of anything so maybe just chug the bastard.

THE END.