mogrits on 
AParker on 
Willy Mac on DID YOU HEAR THIS HORSESHIT? Coach Dabo Swinney promised WILLY KORN playing time in each and every football contest this year but he’s LYING LIAR WHO IS LYING TO WILLY KORN. DABO SWINNERY IS FULL OF SHIT. Swinnery? What? Damnit, typo, okay I’m going to roll with this. No, no, it makes complete sense. Dabo seems like a good guy, he must’ve been replaced by an EVIL DOPPLERGAINER set to ruin the Clemson football program! EXACTLY. Evil twin. Who else would throw a dog turd on a DELICIOUS CAKE OF TALENTED ATHLETES AND SOME ICING THAT ISN’T THAT CREAM CHEESE GARBAGE by starting that baseball player guy at quarterback?
That damned Dabo Swinnery. I bet he wears a tophat and his mole is on the other side of his face and he has a goatee or some facial hair, I mean evil twins have to wear facial hair right? If it’s like a cool mustache or something he probably twirls it a lot. Probly looks like a motherfucker who ties women to train tracks back in olden times when you had to read shit on movies that weren’t even foreign. READING=EXTREMELY LAME (yeah fuck you dude from Star Trek with the headband shades). Except you reading this, that’s cooler than penguin titties.
Here is a photo of what Dabo Swinnery may or may not look like (IT’S NOT A REAL PICTURE ITS PHOTOSHOP I WASNT SURE IF YOU NOTICED). Also, Terranadon Phillips was sitting next to him but I changed his face to an exlopsion of hang loose signs because, well, it’s an improvement. BOOM FLASHING THE GNARLY.
My point, however, is that WILLY KORN only got off SIX GODDAMNED PASSES Saturday. SIX. Of those, how many did he complete? The answer: AS MANY AS HE WANTED TO COMPLETE. Which happened to be four. For reals you guys, yeah Dabo Swinnery can say he gave WILLY KORN playing time, but that’s like me claiming to have full sex with my lady when she only let me get the shaft wet. WEAKSAUCE.
PUT IN WILLY KORN. ALL THE WAY, SWINNERY. ALL THE WAY. BRUISED CERVIX.
I MISS PLANTERS CHEEZ BALLS
EKR OUT.
1ichaseferalcats
on Oct 20, 2009 at 2:26 pm:
God i love planters cheese balls.
2zombiejohnccalhoun
on Oct 20, 2009 at 2:47 pm:
KORN should have Joe Wilson sit in on Swinnery’s next press conference and shout out his now-familiar two-word catch-phrase.
/Hyphens
3PenthouseTiger
on Oct 20, 2009 at 3:12 pm:
FINALLY EKR has returned from his soul-searching journey into the mountains (powered by SURGE, the most EXTR3ME beverage of ALL TIME) to bring his unflappable wisdom to Clemson and rage against the wrongs befalling the Great Korn. We missed you EKR, welcome back.
4mullet
on Oct 20, 2009 at 3:23 pm:
Am I the only one that noticed the ” hang loose ” foam fingers at the Sakerlina/Ole Miss game? Kind of lame but not a surprise coming from that crowd.
5Takeezy
on Oct 20, 2009 at 3:38 pm:
God I missed you EKR
6AndrewTheTerrible
on Oct 20, 2009 at 3:59 pm:
Terradon Phillips HAHAHA
7Clem
on Oct 20, 2009 at 6:24 pm:
Mullet, the hang loose sign has been adopted by the shamecocks as a “spur”. Don’t ask me, it makes no sense. I guess they wanted their own gang sign.
8JasonL
on Oct 20, 2009 at 8:36 pm:
I LAFFED MY ASS OFF!!! AND THAT AIN’T WEAKSAUCE, FUKKERS! THAT’S BRUISED CERVIX RIGHT THERE, YA’LL
9dwight_clark87
on Oct 20, 2009 at 8:38 pm:
It’s Terranadon Phillips, godammit!
Great EKR, regardless.
10Chili
on Oct 21, 2009 at 2:23 am:
@9, updated for consistency, thanks
11dwight_clark87
on Oct 21, 2009 at 8:41 am:
UPDATE: Nancy Grace is now looking into the Coach Swinney/ Willy Korn scandal. Willy technically qualifies as a lost white child, so she is all over this. God bless America. **flashes the gnarly**
12Chris Simp
on Oct 21, 2009 at 9:23 am:
Too bad Willy Korn looks like a frightened squirrel in the pocket…I hear that Parker is working extra hard this week and watching extra film. I’m really impressed by his work ethic after the disappointing performance at Maryland, really shows his mental fortitude.
13Willy Korn
on Oct 21, 2009 at 3:13 pm:
Chris… Seriously… SHUT THE FUCK UP
14thedabokoolaid
on Oct 21, 2009 at 3:21 pm:
who dares pretend to be his extremeness willy korn?! @13, this cannot be tolerated!
15tyge
on Oct 21, 2009 at 4:15 pm:
@14, if this person really is an impersonator, we can only assume that the real Willy Korn has already hunted him down and roundhouse kicked him in the face. After said kick, this impersonator immediately begged forgiveness and pleaded for mercy. Since sitting on the bench has softened a once battle hardened Lord Korn, he let him go with a warning… after another roundhouse kick to the face of course.
If this person really is Willy Korn… well then Korn have mercy on us all.
16Willy Mac
on Oct 21, 2009 at 7:01 pm:
@12 – This is why you and I have problems. You just can’t appreciate the fact that this is a funny bit that we do and shouldn’t even merit non joking comments. You sir, suck. You lose. You get nothing. Good day sir.
17Lloyd Christmas
on Oct 21, 2009 at 9:19 pm:
Boy, after reading 12….I said 13 out loud before i read it….good call there fuckhead willy mac
18I fucked a volleyball player
on Oct 21, 2009 at 10:12 pm:
@ -all you motherfuckers fuckin with Chris Simp. Fuck you motherfuckers and I got Chris Simps back you bunch of doushbags. Chris lets go out and drink some beers and shit. Tell these motherfuckers to fuck off. Parker played like a motherfucker with big ass balls and Korn looked like he was scared of gettin prison raped and shit. I got your back bro.
HELLLLLL YEEEAHHHH!!!!11111!!!!!!1
19red head
on Oct 21, 2009 at 11:35 pm:
baseball fuck looked good to me. fuck, ford threw the bean better than corn. heck, we are a cow college anyhow… I say Miami is dicks, i mean ducks or is that out west
20I fucked a red head
on Oct 22, 2009 at 12:41 am:
WHAT THE FUCK DOES BASEBALL HAVE TO DO WITH THIS SHIT???? FUCK!!!11! I fuckin watched baseball tonight and I didn’t see no fucking Atlanta Braves. What the FUCK channell were you FUCKIN watchin? Baseballs fuckin over. ITS FUCKIN FOOTBALL season NOW. Why don’t you go hug a fuckin PADRE or some kind of shit? I ain’t even gonna comment on your last fuckin sentence. Ginger assed duck fuckin bitch!!!!111
21I fucked a pumpkin
on Oct 22, 2009 at 10:18 am:
lol@18 & 20
22thedabokoolaid
on Oct 22, 2009 at 11:48 am:
@15, he has not replied, so the impersonator has been terminated by the KORN.
23PenthouseTiger
on Oct 22, 2009 at 12:11 pm:
@18, 20 the name changes are the most awesome part of those comments
24dwight_clark87
on Oct 22, 2009 at 2:46 pm:
@18-20, EdBo is en fuego! Buy that man a case of Busch Light!