Archive for December 2006
The DSOT posts have been a little less frequent lately, and not because there’s any less dumb shit on there, I just didn’t want to run it into the ground any more than I already have. That, and you can only subject yourself to Tigernet for so long before you feel yourself being pulled into that kind of mindset. Don’t get me wrong, I love Clemson, I love most Clemson fans, but those who spend inordinate amounts of time on Tigernet make Clemson look bad. As I’ve said before, this isn’t a problem unique to Clemson, hell even the new SecDef Gates took flak for being outed as a poster on a Texas A&M board. Anyway… here’s the DSOT.
Coby D Tiger did the worst thing you can do on Tigernet. He gave an unbiased, truthful statement about the messageboard. I know plenty of Clemson coaches and people who work for the athletic department and Tigernet is considered, at best, mildly embarrassing. Coby D’s post was treated just as you’d think it would; he was cursed and labeled a COOT. (I would like his post even more if he ditched the Chuck Norris tag at the bottom of it. I didn’t even know people found that crap funny any more.)
He said what none of us were thinking.
In the year 2507, Clemson’s football team is commanded by RoboBowden and averages 9 wins a season. Tommy fans claim they’re almost there… just a little more time… just a few more facilities.
Mongotiger provides us with some form of dumbass haiku.
This mouthbreathing dope fired off an angry salvo at Bowden and supporters, saying Bowden has to “S__T are get off the camode.” I’ve corrected his post in an attempt to make his angry posts more grammatically correct.
99%? That’s absurd. I’m positive it’s 96% at the most.
AWWWW! But he worked so HARD!! Can’t we just give him a break, pretty please!
Sir, in your post you have demonstrated such a command of the English language and presented me with such irrefutable facts that I have no choice but to concede on each and every point you bring up. You are a credit to your fanbase and I wish you Godspeed. Good day sir.
Your mom.
So, wait, you saw a VT Hokie Edition Rav4… and… and you liked it? Fag.
He’s a kid, chill the f*ck out. I really feel for Willy Korn. He is coming into Clemson with more hopes and dreams piled on his shoulders than perhaps any player in Tiger history. Having a hundred thousand middle-aged men drooling over your every move: creepy fact or creepiest fact?
I’m closing this episode of DSOT with a mind numbing display of ignorance from Tigernet’s biggest retard, JD1stdown. This dolt likes to get hammered in his double-wide and go online and make country fried stream of consciousness posts that would make William Faulkner proud. Here’s a brief sampling of his Jack Daniels-fueled musings from just one night last week.
I found some bigger “n00bs” than myself, and I “pwned” them, as the kids say.
Kentucky (7-5, 4-4 SEC) v. Clemson (8-4, 5-3 ACC), Friday, December 29th, 1 PM, ESPN HD, XM Satellite Radio Channels 191-193.
The Stats
Line: Clemson -10
Edge goes to:
Offense: Clemson
Defense: Clemson
Special Teams: Both. Kentucky is extremely good at blocking kicks and extra points, however Clemson has some of the best returners in the ACC.
Intangibles: UK. Kentucky has not been to a bowl game in seven years. They are more than happy to be playing in a bowl game and even happier to be sitting at 7-5. Winning this game would be a true step in actually turning a terrible program around. Clemson, on the other hand, seems to be dealing with a sour mood in the locker room. This team knows what they could’ve achieved this season and is pissed that they didn’t. Their heads and their hearts just aren’t in it.
The last time these two teams met in a bowl was December 31st, 1993 at the Chik-Fil-A Peach Bowl. Clemson, led by MVPs Emory Smith (Emmitt’s little brother) and Brenston Buckner, won in the final minutes by a score of 14-13. Yours truly was in attendance to see the Wildcats get edged out by the Tigers… one of my more memorable games from a team that also sported Patrick Sapp and Dexter McLeon.
What won’t black people do to confuse white people? Video unrelated, but c’mon, we had to show it to you.
Our panel of DFIG hacks say:
Willy Mac: The sole key to the game is stopping Kentucky WR Keenan Burton. And with Duane Coleman on the sidelines, it’s not going to be easy. Burton reminds me more of Sydney Rice, who pecker-slapped the Clemson Defense at the Clemson/USC game by gaining 103 yards receiving on 8 catches. He really made a difference in that game, and if Burton has a similar game… oh boy. I mean, the Clemson defense is pretty good… at stopping the run, too bad Kentucky passes the ball A LOT more than they run it. Other notes:
- Kentucky is going to put eight in the box and force Proctor to pass, much like everyone else has. Proctors passing is like kryptonite for our team. And I don’t mean like a little, I mean, flashback to Superman Returns and he straight up gets stabbed with a kryptonite shard, Lex Luthor straight breaks the shit off, and he’s stuck on an island made out of kryptonite… that’s how bad his passing is for our team. Hopefully now that he has Rendrick back in a line up of stunners, all he has to do is get it NEAR a receiver… which he’s not real good at anyways. Remember when teams used to make Woody Dantzler pass it??? Yeah, same thing. He’s got the short bullet passes down, but when he needs to throw it long its the ol’ heave and hope. Plus, Proctor doesn’t have the same ankle shattering running abilities that Woody did.
- Kentucky is f*cking incredible at creating turnovers the past few games. Clemson is f*cking incredible at turning the ball over the past few games. Clemson has to hang on to the ball and not turn it over. Kentucky will do anything short of a reach around and a blowjob to create a turnover.
- My apologies for ditching you guys there after the USC game, but I had finals, etc.
- If our defense can really pressure Kentucky QB Andre Woodson, he will fold faster than Reggie Ball. Gaines Adams needs to be a beast man in this game and he might need reinforcements from the good ol’ bear cavalry known as our linebacker squad.
- If this game is close at the end, we will more than likely lose… of course you know this cause you’ve seen it happen time and time again.
Clemson 27, Kentucky 10
Should have read:
Clemson 20, Kentucky 28
One big goose egg of a loss.
Clemson = Linebacker/Bear Cavalry University
Chili: One time I killed a man with my bare hands. That’s not the point here. I’m here to talk about the game. This bowl of football. Which team will advance the lil pumpkin farther than the other team? Well, I don’t know. I’d like to say Clemson, but then again, I have a diploma from there up on my wall, so I’m biased. Frankly, I’m sick of Clemson. I’m sick of a team constantly failing to meet expectations. Hell, not just expectations, we know how lofty fans’ expectations can be, this team just hasn’t even played up to their ability. Something has been wrong with the team since the Virginia Tech game. We’ve heard nothing but reports of bitching and complaining from players and general indicators of a shitty attitude amongst players. I’m also sick of Tommy’s excuses. I’m so sick of Tommy that I’m even sick of people picking apart his comments and bashing him. It’s just too easy, you might as well be picking fights with paraplegics. I don’t hope Clemson loses, but I won’t be surprised if they do. I won’t really care all that much either. Music City Bowl? Who gives a shit. I’d almost rather not display that trophy. Anyway, here’s some stats I ripped off a betting site: Clemson is 9-1 outside the conference lately, but 1-4 against the spread in the last 5 games. UK is 4-1 ATS and 5-5 out of conference. Yay. Here’s a link to a decent preview - LLLINK.
Prediction: Mini Ditka 49, Clemson -3
or…. Clemson 23, Kentucky 14
“One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way, and this guy’s sayin’, ‘Whadda ya want from me?’”
Unnecessarily large Santa Cat wishes you a happy holiday season.Mmm…. just what Clemson fans want right now. A disappointing season’s end, constant talk of Sakerlina’s great recruiting class (our is still pretty damned good, just we got all our bidness taken care of months ago), the Gaylord Hotels/Junior Johnson Country Ham Music City Bowl on the horizon, and now a key player gets arrested for simple possession. Duane was a partial qualifier coming in, but has busted his ass on and off the field and is set to graduate in December, it’s a shame to see him end his career like this. I wonder if we can slide this under the rug as easily as USC did the arrest of Ricardo Hurley in his hometown of Greenwood a few years back. (Yeah, I had to bring them up, we can only hope to one day have the arrest record they’ve got)
Maybe this is a case for a crime syndicate to open up in Clemson. It’d give the cops something to do besides harass students for petty shit.
The cops got my man D on a humble.One of our readers, Sambo, has decided to share some thoughts with us…
- The World Series of Poker is rigged! Online Poker companies have a sweet gig going here. Think about it, if some chump accountant or patent attorney wins and then claims online poker helped them do it, this will cause other chumps to play online poker and BAM! Online poker companies profit. It’s genius, I’m playing right now.
- Does anyone else giggle when they hear the word “screwball?”
- I finally figured out why Alabama can’t find a new head coach, they’re being Punk’d. I was sure Ashton was going to jump out after Rich Rodriguez declined the job, but he didn’t. I guess the question now is how long are they going to let this go on before we see some Ashton?
- Sakerlina swallows.
- Paris Hilton and Britney Spears should just go ahead and give us their sex tape, we all know they did it and naturally filmed it like all celebrities do. Plus, I am tired of watching Screech getting it on more than I do.
- Tom Brady has to be a robot.
- Barry Bonds has NEVER taken steroids…………in a box, he has never done them with a fox, he has never done them in a house, he has never done them with a mouse, but he has done them here and there, he has done them anywhere, he has done steroids, Sam I Am.
- How has Metropolis not figured out that Clark Kent is Superman?
- And how has no one ever made the connection between Sakerlina and Pure Evil? Their colors are black and some dark evil looking red, evil is often associated with black and evil red. Sakerlina plays the Imperial March (for those non-dorks, that’s the Star Wars song that’s played whenever Vader is around) constantly throughout games, along with another evil sounding song, evil likes evil songs. Sakerlina’s coach is Steve Spurrier, evil is Steve Spurrier. And most importantly, Sakerlina has never scheduled the colossal matchup between the Cocks and the Oregon State fighting Beavers, evil has never played the Beavers either. In conclusion, Sakerlina is evil.
